silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- predictable i was considering writing to him, because we always write, all the time, and there's pretty much always an email from him when i wake up in the morning. i considered doing the same for him, as i often do. but then i think about it, and the situation isn't fair to me. he wants me to want him more than i do. he wants me to accept his touches and his kisses and be an alternative to help boost his ego. overall, it's cool because he's my best friend and i love the sex. he had a long day today, entertaining family that is still in town because of the wedding. he kept talking to me though. he kept texting me and emailing me, and saying how he was sad because he couldn't get a moment to talk to me. and then he's sad when he doesn't get an email in me for a certain period of time. so what? am i supposed to always have something there for him to read, to distract him? because in my opinion, he should be well enough distracted with the abundance of family and friends who came into town to share his big day with him. he should actually put his phone away, because there is nobody he should be expecting to hear from, because they were all there with him: his wife, his parents, her parents, uncles, etc, everyone but me. it's an addiction. why can't we stay away from eachother? i still say things to pacify him, like that i think about him all day, that i can't wait to see him again, that i crave him and want to kiss him. i say these things because i feel like that's what i'm supposed to say somewhat. that's what he wants to hear. he wants to feel like my interest in him is equivalent to his interest in me. but it's not. because i can't. if i care more about him, then where does that leave me? ----- nice. back to sleep. 1:23 a.m. - 2009-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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