silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Strangers and family Hawaii is beautiful. I don't want to go back to Vegas. Im not ready to leave...but I have to. Well, tomorrow. For now, it is soon to be bed time, as I then prepare to blow a kiss goodbye to this lovely island. So yesterday I was taken around Waikiki by JK2, and she basically took me anywhere that involved food. Pretty sure I'll be returning with five extra pounds to work off. Saw a lot of random things, got great pictures, good stuff. Then rushed back to make it in time to head to the rehearsal dinner, where I got reasonably drunk (but not messy enough for anyone to notice) and made some new friends with the bridesmaids etc. We come back to the hotel, I completely pass out, wake up and feel great, Today I get up to go to breakfast at one of the hotel restaurants, just as I did yesterday and will tomorrow. I wait a while to get seated, and am placed at a table next to a man sitting by himself, who is later joined by his wife. I notice a few times throughout breakfast that I am being watched, and during the burn of one of the gazes, I casually turn my head and the guy smiles at me; I smile back. A few minutes later, I notice but do not acknowledge that the woman turns to look at me, and she turns back. I continue solemnly eating and drinking my coffee. The woman later stands up to get more food (buffet), and as she moves, she says hello to me; I smile and say hello back and go back to my world. For about three seconds. Then the guy says, "excuse me?" I look up again and smile. "Would you like to join us for a cup of coffee?" I was done eating and was just quietly sipping on the coffee and staring out at the world. I shyly accept, and grab my cup and coffee etc and scoot over to their table. He asks me what I'm doing in Hawaii, where I'm from, what I do, etc. He tells me that they are celebrating the wife's 50th birthday on Wednesday, and then she comes back and I chat with the two of them. We end up staying almost another hour at the table, and eventually part, knowing that we all planned on heading to the hotel beach area soon thereafter. They invite me to join them if I see them again. I say it was nice to meet you, thank you for inviting me to sit with you, maybe see you soon. We part; I said I'd be going to my room first. I go to room, drop some stuff off, and head down to the beach. I don't see them, and I sit around in the sand for maybe ten minutes before I decide to go upstairs and change into my beach dress instead of my shorts so that I can just rip it off and get in the water easier. I go upstairs, change, head back down, and who is waving me down on the beach but my new couple. So I go to them, because lets face it, nobody wants to be alone. And there begins my day for the next several hours. We lie on the beach, go for a swim, have a couple margaritas, and have good conversation. They say that when they first saw me, I just looked so lonely, and it made them want to reach out to me. Which was actually the nicest thing to happen to me on this trip. They made my day an enjoyable one for the many hours leading up to the wedding, and I appreciate it so much. I can't even put it in to words. This was also their first vacation for just the two of them, no kids, in several years, over a decade, and they brought me in to spend the day with them so that I wouldn't be so obviously alone. I thanked them in the end and they told me to enjoy the wedding. Off to the wedding, everything was beautiful, I hung out with a couple friends, ate a lot of food, took a bunch of pictures, etc. Cake, alcohol, all. Sometime during the reception I get some texts from my sister (who is supposed to pick me up from the airport) and dad (who keeps calling/texting beyond desired checking on me... the usual irritation which makes me not want to tell anybody that I go out of town so that I could just get some damn peace). Sis says she "might work" so she "might not" be able to pick me up. This is my stripper sis, who assured me ahead of time that she'd be able to drop me off and pick me up. Otherwise I would've driven myself to the airport so I'd have my car right there and no drama. She lives right next to me, she usually doesn't work Monday's, so it's supposedly an easy deal there. So she flips the switch on me with this bs, asking if I want dad to get me, which for me is way inconvenient, because he lives 30-45 mins away, and if he got me, he wouldn't just pick me up and drop me off. It would be pick up, talk talk talk, distraction, maybe let's go eat, go to my place, hang out for another 30-60 mins, then leave. I want someone to let me walk out of the car and give a hug and say goodnight and just peace out. I get in just before 11 pm. I work in the morning. I want to go home and go to sleep. Case closed. So I'm infuriated that she is throwing this at me now. I'm distracted from the reception and the speeches and the people I'm sitting with, because now I'm thinking well fuck, who lives close to me who can maybe pick me up at 11 on a Monday night. And I think well this is why it sucks yet again to be so damn alone and self-serving and independent. I enjoy my peace and not having to rely on anybody, now I'm fucked and have to inconvenience someone to actually do me a favor. I come up with someone, I end up with a positive response, and I breathe a sigh of relief. And then sis is like "well...I might not work after all..." and I'm like wtf. Wtf? Why make me scramble for the last 20 minutes, why make me stress out, why irritate me with this? She at first said she "wants to be good" and "needs to make some money", but hello, you have all this time to go in to work, you just choose not to. And the one day I ask for a favor, which you already agreed to, which takes minimal time out of your oh so busy life, you "think" you "might work" ( am I going overboard with the quotation marks yet?). So she says okay, I'll pick you up. No. Fuck that. I don't need someone who is going to vacillate on this decision based on general and financial mood swings. I want a solid yes or no. So I text back and say "no worries, my friend will do it, thanks". She responds that she doesn't plan on going to work anyways. I say thanks again, my friend will get me. She asks again later, "so am I getting you?" I say nope, friend will get me, thanks. She replies "grr...okay". Really? You have the nerve to grr me? Like I just did you wrong?? Wow. She's basically just told me that she is flaky and indecisive and to not ask her for things like this... and I messed HER up? Not in the mood. And you know who is getting me? My friend's husband. Not even my girlfriend herself, but her hubby, no questions asked, no maybe. Just a solid, decisive answer. If they couldn't, I would've just cabbed it or something. Or caved for dad, but damn. So I vented all this to M via text, but due to time zone difference, he did not reply. Which I knew he wouldn't, and I had told him that I'd leave a long ass message for him later venting. Moral of this entry: the kindness and welcoming of strangers literally brought tears to my eyes (not in front of them), as they picked up on the fact that I was alone and they actually gave a shit. I will always remember that, and that whole part of the day where I felt wanted trumps the bs of the evening where I felt like a burden. Good night. I hope to make somebody feel the way that couple made me feel today. They made me not feel invisible today. 11:10 p.m. - 2011-12-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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