silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The new one This guy is starting to get to me. I hate it. I hate liking people. That is not part of my agenda, part of my master plan. The plan is to work, get my office going, have pointless relationships with transient men who don't really care about me (while I try to make them care). He is destroying this for me...but in a good way. He basically spent all weekend with me, more or less. Probably less actually. Saw him Thursday for his bday, then he got out of work early and came over Friday night, stayed over. Saturday went out with his friends first, then came over a tad drunk, stayed over again. Hung out well into Sunday morning, and I really hate to admit it, but I am getting used to him and having him around. I enjoy his company, I like being with him. He makes me smile, makes me happy, and forces me to put my guard down. I have finally given in to let him be "the man" and allow him to take control or be in charge of certain things. That requires me to shut up and stop arguing and stop voicing my opinion. Within reason, of course. I will never be opinionless or submissive. But I will calm down my need to vocalize my dissent with things he says or does, because he is admittedly sensitive and he needs to be deemed stronger or something. Although he knows that I am mentally and emotionally stronger than he is. I will give him physical. He is allowed to have one advantage over me I suppose. I like him and I hate it. My main assistant is loving how much I hate it. I have to make sure I step back a little bit so I don't overwhelm myself with interest in the guy. I need to keep emotions to weekends so that I don't miss his company during the week. Must stay focused on work and my project to start up my office. I stay up all hours of the night going over the information I need to review and familiarize myself with. It is a distraction I guess. Ugh. I just don't want to care too much. It is too early in this thing we have going on. Otherwise, I had some new dr come shadow me at the office today. The future husband of the pediatric dr who just left our office. He is still waiting for his license so he came by to hang out and kinda watch me in action. Who knows, maybe some day he will work at the clinic. I wouldn't mind him taking over at all, I am over the place and ready to peace out sooner than later. But of course I need to get my place straightened out first. Anyways. I ramble, I always ramble. R keeps messaging me. I love talking to him. I definitely miss him, but I'm happy he isn't around me anymore. Looking forward to our big weekend with the crew next month. I bought a new dress for the weekend too. Okay bachelorette is on now. Toodles. 7:24 p.m. - 2012-07-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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