silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friday The holidays are never a lack of adventure for me. I don't recall the good old days where I just had to be at one place and not rush. I'm sure that has never happened, actually, because my sister and I have always been shuttled from one parent's house to the next. I enjoy good as much as the next person, but I like it calm instead of busy. I am certain that is why I enjoyed thanksgiving in SF so much the years I stayed in the city instead of flying home. I just went to one house and stayed there all night, my friend's house. Of course it is better with family, but man. The day ends up so exhaustive. So after dropping DW off from the airport and getting myself home, I had a couple hours of sleep. Woke up to pull together a couple dishes, one for my mom's, one for dad's. I was rushing and trying to make a 2:00 deadline for picking up DW and to get to moms by around 2:30, since they were starting at 2 but it's never on time. Now, DW had gotten stung by something in the ocean, so his toes were hurting. We did whatever treatment we could do without knowing if it was jellyfish or sea urchin or what. I took care of him as best I could. When we were on the plane though, it seemed like every single person in that huge ass plane was sick. Coughing, sneezing, sniffling. Those solid sniffles when they actually sniff something up and it's like just held there? I had tried to arm us with emergen-c, which is just vitamins anyways, water flushes, and antibacterial hand gel. He scoffed at me when I was squirting the stuff on his hands all the time, but after our tour bus ride to Hana on Tuesday, he was immediately like "give me that vitamin pack", as those people were sniffling and sneezing and just gross. And I have a tendency to get sick after I travel, and maybe I am building up an immunity, some resistance, or I'm just getting smarter about it..I don't know. But I try not to touch shit, even if my hands are clean. Anyways, I am thinking that the final plane ride did him in. When I dropped him off in the morning, he was fine, just tired. I told him that I would pick him up later for thanksgiving, he said cool. I text him around 10:30 when I find what time it starts so he will be ready for me to get him. He texts me a couple times before pick up, asking if I can bring the vitamins and the ibuprofen I had bought on the trip for his foot. I threw it in my purse and carried on. Then i am rushing finishing up, jumping in shower, etc, running late. I text him that I will be there after 2 because I took too long, he said okay cool. Then I show up all happy and cheery, and I open the door, and bam. He is dressed and ready to go...and looks otherwise like shit. He is coughing and runny nose, stomach aching, face all red, sweaty, miserable looking. Body is extremely warm and damp, and he says his knee on the side he got stung is feeling swollen and tender. So I tell him that he's not coming with me and he has to stay home, and he gets super sad and feels bad about it. He is then crying in my arms, feeling like he is letting me and my family down because we've been planning on this being when he meets them for months. I think it was the sick and exhaustion of it all that made him break down. We both needed some sleep too. So I console him for maybe half an hour, but I'm already running late. It's sad because he was extremely burning up and I wanted to stay and take care of him, but I also really was ready to go be with my family. Also, he knew he was sick, he could've told me not to come by, because grabbing him was out of the way I had to go..but that's another story. So I do my rounds, I enjoy how weird my family is. We eat, drink, act like idiots, it is lovely. After my second stop, I go back to check on him. Especially since he was feeling swollen on the knee and wouldn't let me take him to the emergency room just in case, I wanted to at least supervise him. So I brought him some food and medicine, and took care of him as best I could. It is interesting how helpless people are sometimes. In caring for him, I realized even more that he desires to have someone to do exactly that. Someone to take care of him. He feels a ton of neglect from both of his parents, his past relationships he says were codependent and he let girls walk all over him or so, take advantage. I can see him being easily swayed by women. He doesn't have a take control attitude. He likes to think that he does, but it is very evident that he doesn't. And I am extremely controlled and very maternal, and he knows that I can get things done. When he got stung, he came up to me and showed me like a child, and I'm like umm ok let's get out of the water and go rinse it off and take care of it. With him being sick, I had to tell him to stop pushing it and to drink his fluids, rest, take these, etc. He had asked me to come back and take care of him when I was done with my family fun. I do believe that love helps people heal better. Medicine is good and all, but I feel that being held and kissed and loved brings improvement sooner. I stayed overnight even though I was sooo tired and just wanted to go home. He was feeling better this morning, still sick, but under control. His fever went down, so that relieved me. So now I am home. Finally resting bum style as I like it. He said his dad wants us to come by on Sunday for dinner or lunch, if he is feeling better by then. I would like that, because I think it is about time. If anything for my family, we will try again on Christmas. For his as well I assume. Blah blah, I am distracted watching judge shows now. Still haven't really talked about Hawaii, but basically it was absolutely beautiful, even if he was being stupid and texting too much. Still love the guy, even though he alludes too much about his ex girlfriends as if I am jealous about them. I got annoyed because I said hey let's go zip lining, and he said "oh I'll never hear the end of that". I asked why, and he told me that he went before with some ex girlfriend. So? And?? I don't give a fuck if you have done it before with someone, I want to go my damn self! Like I'm gonna hold it against him because he had an experience with someone else? So what am I supposed to do, screen everything I want to do first by clearing whether or not he did it with someone else? I don't care about these girls. I don't bring them up, hell, I don't bring up my own exes unless he asks me. Because I have no reason to bring them up. They are the past. He went on a couple cruises with other girls, so I guess that means I can't go on a cruise with him according to his logic because I will be jealous. I probably shouldn't use the restroom in his place because his exes have been in there before. So naturally I flip an attitude on him. Seriously, will you please just let me be a brand new damn girlfriend and not assume that I am jealous at everything? When I say I don't care, I really do not care. I could make it way worse for him. I don't flaunt a single thing in front of him. He still has pictures up of his exes. His screen saver on his computer flashes through pictures, including exes. Do I bitch at him about it? No. Should I? Hell yeah. But am I the type to instead be sneakily bitchy and maybe start putting up pictures and memories of the people who once had my heart, just to flaunt it and possibly incite an argument? Yep. However, I don't care to put all that nonsense up. Maybe if he pisses me off enough. I have enough weapons in my arsenal to throw at him at the right time. But yea, the comparison to the exes really put me off on the trip, but we passed it. He mentioned a few times, several times actually, about us being married, him being my husband, me having his last name, etc during the trip. I have to be gentle with him, because he is so sensitive...but it has been 5 months now, that's all. I am not perusing bridal magazines. I suppose I understand his mentioning of it, because I am an amazing woman to want to marry :) but seriously, I don't sit around thinking about the what ifs. I enjoy who and what we are. I do feel like I can and will stay with him forever, but I'm not going to talk about it right now. Too, too soon. Ummm too many tangents. Going back to court shows. I should be a tv judge. Looks so fun. 9:23 a.m. - 2012-11-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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