silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shenanigans MG came by the office today. Brought us some treats, business-like relations type of thing. But he came in and said some stupid stuff to me. Words that I didn't want to hear from him, at least not now. I don't know what he's trying to pull here. He wants me to react, he wants me to feel something again, I don't know. He mentioned how he loves me (I know that he doesn't), and he said it again. And again. And again. "I love you, i love you, I fuckin love you. I'm telling you this because I love you, I have so much love for you." Then he texted me later that he knows he said it a thousand times, but he loves me. I believe absolutely nothing that he says, so no worries there. But I hate that he does this. He gave me a huge hug. I will leave that alone. It's clear that I miss him and the way things were, but I'm not dumb enough to assume anything. I leave it alone. I talk to him a little bit, but I won't be dumb. But I do miss him. Doesn't matter. The guy who handled my mortgage loan ended up hitting on me and trying to ask me out. That was quite uncomfortable. I had to shoot that down. It was really unprofessional on his part, and we are still in the midst of my loan document gathering, and he really shouldn't have made it known to me that he was trying to date me. I told him that I am involved with someone. He backed off. His approach was weak though too, and terribly annoying. I joined a gym today, yet again. I'm supposed to go with one of my coworkers to a spin class tomorrow. I know nothing of spin. Basically...riding a bike indoors, right? Well I joined, and I will use that to ideally motivate me to lose this excess weight and get back to a smaller version of myself. I miss my muscles too. I'm excited for moving because I can pull together my exercise room instead of just having equipment scattered in my room and living room in this one bedroom apartment. I'm fixing myself. Or at least, I will be doing so. That stupid bank guy though, he really went overboard. "I was hoping you had your eyes on me..." Yeah, to process my loan application, champ. Do your part and get my shit done and stop trying to flirt. There was an employee guy working at the gym when I got there, had beautiful eyes. We locked eyes for a moment and I smiled at him. He later came up to the table where I was at with his coworker, and asked to borrow something. He made some simple small talk and asked me my name. He was attractive, but his body was a bit over bulked or something, threw things off. A little too muscular on the top, like every day is chest and shoulders day. He did have those pretty eyes though. I can't deal with guys who work in gyms anymore. i just remember one guy who was way too emotional and had nothing going for him. Not that I am shallow and they need to have amazing jobs and lives figured out, but he was proud to voluntarily tell me that he had no car, terrible credit, only worked part time at the gym desk but of course had done some modeling, and didn't care much for higher education. It's fine that you don't have a car, just don't expect me to give you rides everywhere. The kicker is I remember him saying, after sex, that he wanted to put a baby in me, and then laughed it off...and said it again. I believe this was after the first time. And asked me to take him to the McDonald's drive thru for breakfast in the morning. Yet I did sleep with him again for some reason... I have an interesting repertoire of the men. I don't mind being alone. I have been packing. I don't mind having boxes everywhere. I remember when I started the office, my living room in the apartment was covered in boxes. It was insane. I hope I still have the pictures somewhere of it. Good memories of an awesome project. Patient Laura came in again. The girls complain that she talks too much, but that's the nature of the game sometimes. She is so enlightening and positive. I wish I could carry her with me at all times. She is a genuine and blessed individual, so caring. I still could only hope to be half the positive, loving person that she is. I need to try to sleep now. Until next time. 10:41 p.m. - 2016-02-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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