silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- over it everything is going to change now. again. i can feel it. and i don't care. i want it to change. i want to forget a lot of how things are right now. and i don't want to get close to R ever again. i am done with that. he is immature and stupid, and i'm definitely wasting my time and my heart and my effort on him. whatever. glad to figure it out. at this point, my desire is to mess him up. let him know what's up. he's being an asshole, once again. and i find it better to just leave it alone. i'm glad it's going to be this way. but this time i'm not going to pretend that i don't care about him emotionally. i have to pretend that i don't care about him at all. and i'm going to pretend up until the point that i truly don't. and that graduating and getting away from here, and him especially, will not negatively affect our friendship, or whatever it is, at all. i'm pretty much beyond over it. he's really doing a good job with all of this. i asked him what did i do personally to you? and he had no answer. i don't know if it has to do with JG. i don't know if it has to do with anything in particular. he is the cause for so much stress in my life these days. in a way, i wish he would just disappear from my life forever. or whatever. he really knows how to make things uncomfortable between us. once again, i am soooo glad that we're about to go on vacation. i need to get away from him asap. i'm guessing this boat cruise thing will not make it any better. i really wish he doesn't go, but i'm thinking it doesn't matter, he's going to go. i just have to pretend that i don't care enough. god this gets old, it really does. i really don't want to deal with him and this bullshit anymore. 8:31 p.m. - 2009-06-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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