silver4's Diaryland Diary

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yet again...

this is all just pretty much hilarious. so i was thinking that maybe i should go about pursuing someone else, like H, since he seems nice and all, he's cute, he comes up to me and asks me things and advice or whatever that he could ask anybody, but actively seeks me out. he's flirty with me and all that good shit, so i was getting a pretty decent vibe off of him, and I told him that he should come along on thursday on the boat thing. i told him that i would be there, so he should be there. i think the way i said it was pretty much direct. anyways, i know he's not all out and about like the rest of us are, so i'm really not expecting much of it. anyways. so i chatted with him the other day, and he was saying that i should've been partnered up with him in the program, because we both speak spanish, and i could pass my spanish patients down to him. and i told him that i was on the committee that did the matching, and i couldn't figure out why he was matched with the guy we matched him with. well, today, i was sorting out some papers to be recycled, and i came across the forms that we used to match people up with. so i found his form, and it's pretty minimally filled out. he circled bars and clubs as his least favorite thing to do, and working out and family, etc as his top interests. complete opposite of me, because i'm an admitted lush and my family is back in vegas, and i'll see them whenever. as for working out... i'm trying, but i'm not hard core at it. i'm small, i'm in decent shape. anyways. and then there was the kicker: the line that says single, in a relationship, married. he circled married.

of course he fuckin did.

so, what is this? what is this? he doesn't wear a ring, i've looked. it's everyone's natural habit to see if their prospects are taken. he lives in the same building as me and he is NEVER with anyone. so what? is she back home or something? is she invisible? because to get a single unit in this complex, you have to show proof of marriage, so... i don't know. i guess my next step is to ask him who his roommate is, or look and see exactly what apartment he is in, if he is in one of the married ones. because if that's the case, he's being shady, and that sort of pisses me off. it pisses me off because it just perpetuates this issue with me and the men who just can't be single. can i seriously not get the attention of a guy who is single and decent??? so annoying. i am so tired of this. i would LOVE to know what his situation is. because i know flirting. i do flirting. a lot. and if that's his reason for not being social, then fine, that's legitimate. but fuck! and i had a feeling, i had a good feeling when he told me who he was matched to, i was wondering if it had to do with the possibility of the married connection.

these men are driving me insane. i don't even know who i should be attracted to anymore. i should really study. the last pharmacology test is tomorrow morning. and what do i know? that H is possibly married. fucker.

10:17 p.m. - 2009-06-07

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