silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lol i've had a few drinks today, but i could go for a drink. i could always go for a drink. i can't believe how things have changed for me. this is the natural transition for life. at this point i should perhaps be looking for my soul mate or some crap like that. i want it, obviously i want it. in a way, i hate that all my friends are in meaningful relationships except for me. and yes, i mean ALL of my friends. i have nothing. my relationship is my career. i have become that person. i feel like sleeping. i feel like taking a couple sleeping pills, just because. i went to have a drinks and go see a movie with AV and company. JL was there, and we got to chat a bit. he's cute, i'm definitely attracted to him. i don't know exactly what i'm going to do about him. i'm tempted to just jump on him. but he's too easily affected by emotions etc. i just want to have fun. i don't want to care about anything. i wish my stupid period would hurry up and come. it's been teasing me today and i don't like the tease, just hurry the fuck up and start. i've had the cramps for the last couple days and i can feel it thinking about it, it's just annoying waiting. sorry, i know that's not the kind of thing people like to read about on this site. my bad... so, JL. i don't know. he's always my favorite person to talk to when the whole group is there. i could actually see myself dating him, which is probably a contributing factor as to why i haven't done so. i know i've said before that i avoid stuff with him because he's such a good person and he doesn't deserve to be with a fuck-up like me, which still holds true. i do like looking at him though. i'll see him again tomorrow and perhaps on sunday too. i told him that i would go with him if he goes to some party thing on sunday, so i'm not sure if he's considering it or not. i'll find out tomorrow. i think i'll get around to kissing him for once. i do want to confront him about the way we are... confront, clarify, whatever it is. that is tomorrow. M's girl is possibly going to start annoying me soon. she keeps directly saying or hinting at or alluding to him cheating on her, quite possibly with me, but nothing has happened with us. it's a little annoying, because she's being overly suspicious etc for no substantial reason okay i'm outof energy again.. and it's so early good night 10:36 p.m. - 2009-06-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||