silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Idk I have become such a sad excuse of a person. I go for my own gratification and am indifferent to the feelings of others. I was stupid to involve myself with M. I don't want to go crazy about this. I vacillate between thoughts, thinking that I'll be okay and then thinking that I might lose it. I know that it's fine though. I just don't want to be so heartless like this anymore. And i just wish that I could be the one in a positive situation for once. And then there's JL. Shouldntve touched that one either, because it changed our dynamic a little. I don't want it to be automatic hook up now every time we see eachother, but I think that is what he wants. He said that we shouldve started this up a while ago. Sigh. He's a good guy but he's not what I want. Will my world ever come together? I also want to get D out of my life. I mean, as a friend, whatever, it's fine. But I don't think he accepts that. Well, I know he doesn't accept it. I want to move on from everything and just be happy. This blows and I feel a little sad right now. Doesn't matter, I'll get over it. I should be going out tonight hopefully, maybe that will clear my mind a little. I don't even know why I'm thinking of it. 6:29 p.m. - 2009-07-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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