silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love games R is back in town apparently. I wonder how long I can hold out without talking to him. well obviously not for too long because ideally we'll be going out tonight. sigh. i won't bug him quite yet, i'm sure everyone else is bugging him. ah. he just said hi to me online. and then he came over to grab a hair dryer. he's so precious. i didn't hug him or anything. just said hi blah blah, he told me to come over and meet his friends, and i said i'd be there in a bit. i'm sort of in a lazy mood but i'm down to hang out and do stuff later. i think if i can take a nap or something, i'll be good. it just looks so boring and dull outside, it makes me not want to be active. hm.. he said they're not gonna go out but will play beer pong instead. so i'll just hang out with them when they get back from dinner. i really have to call my patients. i'll call them i guess tomorrow. i also want to perhaps go shopping a little. i was looking at some other pictures that M's girl had posted of their summer together, when she came to vegas and when they went to some friends' wedding. it's a little weird to see them smiling all happy in the pictures. happy in love? in talking to him, it sounds like he's just getting married to do it, because it's what she wants, because, pretty much, why not? it's sort of stupid. they haven't even been dating for very long, just like 2 years, even though they've known eachother for a long ass time. and she keeps complaining to him about the fact that he was mean to her initially or some bs like that, because he didn't want to date her at first, he wasn't attracted to her. he said that he could go without getting married, he really doesn't care. sigh. i'm the same, i could sort of care less about getting married. i think that they should reconsider getting married, but that's just me. Actually, no, it's not just me. it's a lot of people. at least they should wait a little longer, it just seems unnecessarily rushed. but whatever. i could say maybe i'm jealous a little. or not jealous, but it's confusing when he says the things that he says to me, when he tells me how he's attracted to me and all, and how happy he is to have gotten me because he wanted me for so long, but now that he has me, he doesn't really have me because he's getting married... so.... it's just stupid. i don't feel anything like i was starting to feel, i think we are just... chill. it's just silly, i know it is. it's silly what we are doing because nothing will come of it. but i still want to do anything i can to him to make him crave me more. every woman deserves to feel wanted, even if the guy who wants her is taken. 8:12 p.m. - 2009-07-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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