silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rambling The selfish part of me that enjoys spending time with him and hanging out and talking and playing around really wants him to either decide not get married or her to break up with him on account of all these quite accurate suspicions (although inaccurate with the details), or for them to, soon after getting married, realize that they shouldn't be together afterall because his heart really isn't 100% into it and it was rushed. I'm not crazy about him, I'm not in love with him, I'm not obsessed with him. I just think that we have a lot of fun together and he doesn't judge me, I don't scare him off, he understands that I'm insane and it doesn't make him afraid to be around me, he keeps coming back. I really can tell him everything, I even cracked and drunkenly told him about the bullshit of R and how lame and frustrating that situation will always be. He knows how I am with every guy and I tell him about all my little tease encounters with MJ and CF and any other guy who gets in my way. And he just laughs about it. He doesn't mind the way I am. Our friendship is so casual right now, it's completely just straight friendship, but we provide eachother with perks that happened so smoothly that we didn't give eachother a chance to be awkward with one another. And the best thing is that my emotions are at bay, they are well controlled, but... I don't think it's fair that he's getting married. I think it's just a lie to go through with a marriage in this situation in the first place. I just wouldn't do it. Or I would postpone it until I worked a few things out, like stop cheating if possible. But that's just me and my rambling thoughts. I don't want him to get married but I will be there when he does. The men always get the better end of the stick with me. Why can't I have someone pine over me and get assed out in the end like I always do? 9:56 a.m. - 2009-07-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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