silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hm again i haven't had much to say lately. all i can think about is school. it's so much work, but i'm again getting happy because i'm getting stuff done. i just want to look decent and skilled in the eyes of the authority. romantically, hm.. all the same. an ex contacted me on fb maybe last week or the week before, but he's in vegas so there's no possibility of hanging out with him really. he's always been somewhat of a fluctuating character, coming in and out of my life. he's more of a friend though than an ex, he was like my first boyfriend so it didn't really count, although we did actually hook up a little when we were older, like 21, 22 or so. but nothing noteworthy, just a guy. i should hook up with him though next time i see him, if he's single. or whatever. by now you know that the 'single' thing is just a technicality. i've been talking to R a little bit more again, which is good. it's very limited, in passing, online, in clinic, etc. i'm still pretending that pure friendship is acceptable. but i know that it's not. i will ease my way back into his world to hte point that i can stay at his place just the two of us and not feel like a burden again. i just want to talk to him the way that we used to. i want to have the connection with him that i used to have. hopeless romantic or just hopeless? M is getting restless again and ready to hook up whenever an opportunity presents itself. he's riskier now and sneaks kisses in the school elevators, touches me in the hallways or even in lab where, although minor, there were a few people there. i am more cautious and look around and try to make sure that nobody's around, but he seems to be jumping in more and more lately. .. 12:27 a.m. - 2009-08-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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