silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- go for it... i think. maybe... so last night was another drunken adventure. but i think something was actually accomplished this time. i came back home with R... actually wow, i just remembered i started walking home by myself from some restaurant and he chased me down and walked the rest of the way with me. nice. sometimes when i'm drunk and i want to leave, i just bounce without anyone. i did give R warning though. god, and i took off my shoes and was walking barefoot for a few blocks. i'm terrible. anyways, i go up to his place where some of our friends are, but he starts getting ready for bed, so i tell him i'm taking off my contacts and coming back. blah blah blah, come back, we're in bed mumbling about who knows what, and he asks me 'so now what?' and i pretend i don't hear him, and keep talking about other stuff. and again, a few minutes later, he asks again. so i say 'now we go to sleep'. clever, i know. and he says 'no, now what with us?' so i'm laying there, i guess the silliness is over because he sounded sort of serious, so i put on my serious voice and ask him what he means, and he wants to know where we go from here, and just like last weekend, i tell him that he knows how i feel, it's really not that hard to figure out, and that it's, once again, up to him, it's his choice. and he says that he's open... ????? wtf he's never said anything like that before. and he says he's good for whatever it is, and i'm like okayyyy..... so.....???? whatever you want, i tell him. i say that i know that i'm crazy and that that's a problem, and it just keeps going back and forth with us, so i just can't think about it. but he tells me that he wants to go for it. he says he wants to give it a shot. um... silence. 'even though i'm crazy?' i ask. he laughs and says yes. 'are you drunk right now? are you going to remember this in the morning?' i ask. he says he'll remember. i ask him why he's addressing it now, and he says he doesn't know, that it's time. and so it is. i said okay. so i think i am now with R. it's a little unconfirmed though. i stayed over and just stayed close to him last night. i would like to clarify this though when i see him later today. and if this is the case, i guess i should tell M... 7:35 a.m. - 2009-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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