silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- calm not much to say really. i could comment on the party the other night, it was fun. i got drunk, danced a lot, went crazy in a good way, got some attention which is always nice. there was a photobooth that the party arrangers had rented, so i went through a few rounds in that thing, it was fun. and of course i got a round with R. we have a ton of pictures together, of just us, and although to me it is wonderful, i fear that for him it's too much in the sense that it somewhat appears to be more than it is... if that makes sense. we look all cutesy and shit together, and when we are drunk enough, we really are cutesy and shit together. but then it comes down to too much of this image to the outside world that there is more there, that we are more tightly bound. which i suppose we are in a way. or at least i hope for such... fuck, whatever. i don't know anything anymore. i'm tired. i just made some chocolate covered popcorn and shared it with my friends. R came over as well and tried it and said he didn't know if he liked it or not, but i told him that he does like it. last night i made a big ass thing of turkey meatloaf and sides, and texted everyone to come over and have some so i wouldn't have to eat it all week. i really enjoy cooking for other people and entertaining. i would cook every day if i didn't have the bs of school lingering around every night or so. H emailed me, i've spoken to him briefly every now and then at school, saw him a couple times today. he missed the party over the weekend, but he's not the partying type as it is. but he told me that the guys in his class were talking about me, which makes me happy. i like that. i danced with JB a bit too at the party... at least i think i did. i can't recall too much. i know of some of the people i danced with. and MS kept half-ass attempting to talk to me, but he wasn't forward enough and i don't have time for half-stepping. and i saw him today before clinic and we talked, it seems so damn formal still, i want him to just chill and talk to me like normal, otherwise it's just too much and a little annoying. he's being too slow and nice and polite and shit, and coming around and trying to say hey, but then goes around saying that i'm all into him to other people; not good. he needs to learn a lesson from H, who is really good at saying nice things to me and making me feel like i am great. too bad R doesn't say shit about how absolutely amazing i am. fucker. meh. still love him though. 9:00 p.m. - 2010-01-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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