silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- night night i don't really want to do anything tomorrow. is that bad? i have to do a root canal in the morning and a crown lengthening surgery in the afternoon. i just... don't want to. i wonder if i can finish the endo though. that would be nice. but i semi doubt it. i'm getting faster and more confident with them, but not so fast that i am amazing quite yet. yet. such a waste. i didn't nap like i wanted to. instead i did lab work. what is wrong with me? M found me online and at first it was regular chatty chatty. then he asked me if i was tired of him, because he gets the feeling every now and then that he should back off. i was thinking, yeah, actually, in a way i am. but i told him that it's basically the situation, nothing personal about him, but mostly the fact that i should be more considerate of myself and that what we have really isn't of any benefit to me, that it's just me perpetuating a behavior that i don't really want to have, and it sort of sucks. i mean, although it's fun and all, it does nothing for me in the long run. at the end of the day, i am still single and hoping for something better for myself. someone better. who knows? i'm really bad at this. don't i ever have anything positive to say? let me think... there's a shit ton of people planning on going out for my birthday party. i used to never want to do birthday parties because i thought that people would not show up. at school, we all go out and we all somewhat love one another, so there's always a ton of people coming out. fuck, i'm tired now. i really want to sleep, but i have all this other bs to do still. okay, this time i mean it: i will wake up early and work my ass off. it's midnight now. 5 a.m. wake up call. okay. good. 11:13 p.m. - 2010-01-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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