silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- winding down... school sucks. i'm tired of it. i want to just get out of here already. i want to graduate and get my life going. i want to know what the fuck i'm doing and do it well. i need to lose weight. i've gained too much. i disgust myself. M still thinks i'm hot. as do these other weirdos who have interest in me. the easy solution here would be to exercise. and there is honestly no way that i can eat any less. i can't help it, i'm a foodie. i love to cook, i love to eat. i don't throw tons of sugar and fat into my meals. i cook with veggies and start my day off with a damn fruit smoothie. hell, i'm eating oranges right now. my last few grocery trips, i've gazed at the ice cream sandwiches and sighed as i walked away. R is online right now. a part of me wants to just go over to his place and be a bum and talk bs nonsense to him, but the realistic part of me says nope. even though he told me to do that, to just come over. my soul is screaming for me to just go over there. but nope. i'm being lazy enough as it is. whatever. i just signed up for the regional boards, the clinical exam we have to take for licensure. that test is $2100. wtffffff. i put it on my dad's card, he told me to. i'm running low on the loan funds right now, especially after putting $1800 towards my trip to fiji in 3 weeks. we are going on a dental mission, doing 2 or 3 days of work in a clinic there, and the rest of the week just enjoying fiji. an idea which would warrant maybe me not sitting around being a fatty and instead getting my ass up so i can rock a bikini. one of the excursions that is listed is hot air balloon riding, and OMG i would LOVE to go up in a hot air balloon :) i think it would be a nice romantic thing to do...too bad i don't have a honey to go up with. damn. it gets late so quickly it seems. i hate getting home from clinic after 9. it throws everything off. and it doesn't help that i'm hungry. i need to start eating things that will curb my hunger more so i don't go overboard. maybe i'll go for a walk after school, go up some hills here and there to get myself motivated to be a better person. and then possibly jump on the treadmill when i get back here. i just need some damn discipline. i should force myself to wake up early and exercise from now on. i wonder what good 2.5 weeks worth of exercise will do... holy fuck i can't believe it's that soon. okay. blah. empty thoughts right now. going to get some learning on about starting a practice... 10:28 p.m. - 2010-03-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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