silver4's Diaryland Diary

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dentistry.. and beer.

over it.

sounds familiar...
meh. today was awesome, then it was lame. i was excited to come home to the 40 in my fridge. but it's not enough. i think i need more beer. this week was rough. i really don't want to deal with school anymore, i'm so glad it's almost over. and i can't believe that people go through another year of it... i guess it's spread out enough and more, but fuuuck. school is ridiculous. i think i'm going to go grab a pizza and beer. once i get off of chat here. i'm just... so tired of all this bs. checks and a million different fuckin opinions and one person tells you to do one thing and another tells you to do something else then fuckin everyone disappears and messes you up.. and it's all a bitch. everything is a bitch. every tooth is a bitch. at least the morning went smoothly. but this fuckin prep i do that one dr tells me to refine next time, i refine it today and this other dr says it was fine before, so it was a waste of time and shit....

i'll stop dental complaints. because only my dental friends care. hell, what am i saying? i don't even care. i need to figure out what i am doing tonight. R is out of town, another friend S is out of town. i have some shit to do and focus on in life, but i don't think anything will stop me from partying a little tonight or this weekend still.

ah. and i realized (again) that i have gotten over R (again), so i should be good for a while, until/unless he comes at me (again) with bs interest in me and unpermitted kisses. i find that my weakness and overwhelming emotions for him always come up when i am drunk on the weekends. during the week, everything is tolerable. i am indifferent. i see him and we have bs banter and go about our separate ways, and that's it. i don't get jealous, i don't look at him and think of how precious he is. i think M got to me, he has definitely distracted me, in a good way. besides all his talk of us being a couple if he weren't all married and shit. he keeps coming over, any and every single time there is free time and the ability to come over. like any day immediately after school, he wants to walk home with me and hang out for an hour or so. and yesterday morning we didn't have class, no clinic until 2, so he came over at 10 a.m. to basically just sit there as i painted my toenails, until i was ready to head out to eat with him and go back to his place and hook up. it always comes down to hooking up. but whatever. i don't care. at least i get to play and it's with a fun person. R is just missing out on the good things in life by being subject to his culture's ways of no sex until marriage and arranged marriages. arranged marriage. lame. i mean, whatever, works for some. but to get married and have sex and then realize that you actually waited??? he's stupid. sex is stupid. and i'm glad he's gone this weekend. any time we are forced apart is good for me.

okay i really want that pizza and beer. mostly the beer though. always. but fuuuck it's cold outside. but if it's what i have to do, then so be it. maybe i'll find the love of my life at the pizza place...

6:38 p.m. - 2010-03-05

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