silver4's Diaryland Diary

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and all is good again

lost the phone. found the phone. after a night of freaking out and going absolutely insane.

rewind.

so the night started off good. we went to dinner at some tapas place and got drunk there for a friend's birthday. then we went to one club but there was a $15 cover and some people weren't on the list (but i was and i went in early and pounded a drink) so we relocated to a different club and got all wild and shit there. dancing, lovely times, all the good stuff. and then of course, i get really bad drunk to where i am just staring off in space and limply dancing, and R knows that that means it's time for me to go home, so i fought it for a while and then gave in, so we left. i don't remember many details, but we were getting pizza because he was hungry, i wasn't, so i just tagged along like his puppy. always. and then we get in a cab and the driver is a complete dumbass who doesn't know where the hell he was going and was taking forever, and i was starting to pass out, and R was like can you please just get us there? and then we had to pull over because i was going to get sick. so he pulls over, i rush out to the sidewalk to get it out, and it's taking a while and R comes to be with me, and i realize tada, my fuckin phone is gone. in the cab, realized after the cabbie just said fuck it and drived off. so at that point i am freaking out and saying FUCK FUCK FUCK! like a mad woman, and R is trying to calm me down, he's calling my phone and i check my pockets and my purse repeatedly like 10 times for the phone to be in some hidden crevice, at the same time stopping every now and then to throw up a little. so we find another cab and i am still freaking out, thinking about the shit i have saved on my phone (texts... inappropriate texts that people's significant others shouldn't see... images of things from school that i didn't get to download and need to print out... email conversations in the web browser [which was the last thing i had accessed on the browser] that people's significant others shouldn't see... that kind of thing) and i get more worked up like oh shit, what if it gets in the wrong hands, what if somebody knows someone? i didn't care about phone numbers, i back up my phone and have an extra sim card. it's just that i hadn't backed it up in maybe 2 weeks, in which a few significant things were recorded. and i don't care about music, etc, it's all on my computer. so we get home and i am still drunk and terrible, and poor R is helpless and trying to take care of me. he takes me to my room, in which i am more drama, flailing things off of my bed, unplugging my phone charger because i had no use for it anymore. in retrospect, it's quite hilarious. at the time though, i'm sure R was like wtf. i keep saying how there's shit on the phone that i can't lose and saying FUCK FUCK over and over and punching things like the bed and making fists with my hands. and he tries talking to me and consoling me, and eventually we fall asleep. he asks me if i want him to leave and i tell him that he can leave if he wants. he asks me again if i want him to leave and i say 'i never want you to leave, but you can go if you want'. and he stays. bad move on my part, because i don't like to say shit like that to him because it keeps him aware that my obsession with him, although slight, is still there. so he stays for a while, i get up a couple times to throw up more, and come back and complain that my hair smells like vomit. he keeps trying to ask me what's really going on, and i can tell that he's trying to get something else out of me, but i won't divulge anything with him anymore, but it's a nice try on his part. eventually he goes home, probably around 4 or 5, before i made my sad entry of the loss. then i try to sleep and i don't want to be alone, so i brush my teeth and go to his place and linger and just get in bed with him and apologize for my craziness. i stay for a while, then freak out and think that i have to change my passwords for my main email and fb because those are accessed directly from the phone, so i go to my place and change the passwords, and then go back to his. then i'm calm again, and freak out about my other email that's open in the browser, and go back to my place and change that password as well. all the time, i'm holding my patient phone, which i had used to try calling my other phone several times with hopes that someone would pick up and that the battery doesn't die from me calling it incessantly. then i go back to R's bed and apologize again, and apologize for being crazy overall. and then we sleep.

then i wake up before 7:30 (or was it 6:30? daylight savings throws me off. it was 6:30. ugh. that's why i'm so tired still) and go home and call my phone again, and again. and i get on the computer and look up my phone bill but it doesn't have anything significant because of the weekend i guess, the last info it had was from the 12th. i basically continue to freak out and try to catch my breath and not become overly anxious. i also think about how my dad would be upset about me losing the phone, but not too upset because it's just a phone, but he calls every sunday or more often sometimes, and i was thinking of how i would have to call him from my patient phone and explain that i lost the phone because i'm a drunk idiot always... so many thoughts running through my head. i tell myself that i'm going to call the phone every hour basically. i try to sleep again but i'm too antsy and worked up. i give another call, 9:00. and FINALLY someone answers and i'm like umm this is my phone? and they are like yes, you can come get it.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

and i look up the address the chick gives me, and it's a little far, so i find out the bus route (1 hour trip) and leave here around 9:30, completely frazzled and looking like shit and restless... which i was. i recover my dear, dear phone and see that i only called it 8 times, R called 4 times. we both texted me with our numbers saying to contact one of us if they found the phone. so i pick it up, say thank you etc, maybe i should've paid them something but shit, i had nothing, and that damn cab driver was the one i believe who had fucked us up with his driving to who knows where, so he sucked anyways. i get home just before 12, completely exhausted, almost having fallen asleep in the bus on my way back. and i still don't rest ever because i'm texting M and my roomie and telling R that i got it and blah blah blah. and now it looks like i'm about to go shopping for some stuff for fiji. and some extras at victoria's secret.

so yeah. great times. but the dinner and the club was nice. that's all that matters. and i can call my dad from my main phone and pretend that nothing even happened.

12:46 p.m. - 2010-03-14

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