silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- counting down and sure enough, it was the usual routine, just as i had anticipated. my group didn't all come out last night, the representation was very lame. it was just me and R, and we met up with some other guy from school and a few of his friends. i was the only girl, it was 5 or 6 of us altogether, with a couple other people who they knew who happened to be there. also all guys. so it was good, it started off slowly, and then we went to the bar in the club and handled our business, because R and i hadn't been drinking earlier but the other guys had, so we had to catch up. and then R and i went off to dance and we spent most of the time then together, i don't know what the other guys did, i think they just stood around and drank and talked, but they didn't get on the dance floor or anything. which was fine, i like when i have R all to myself. there were moments when we were close and holding eachother and he'd bring his face like a centimeter away from mine so that when we spoke, our lips were just thisclose to touching. and i think he did it on purpose, but we would be like that, fingers interlocked, closer than close, slight dancing, and we would say just bs stuff and just look in eachothers' eyes and then not say shit, everything but our lips touching, and i could sense both of us considering it, but he didn't take those last few millimeters, and i battled it myself, but i couldn't take it either, because i never know when it is acceptable for me to do so. so we went through a few rounds of that. and at some point our friend DL comes up to us and says that he and the guys are leaving, and we say bye, and i ask R if we are also leaving, and he says no. :) so we keep dancing and being the pretend couple that we will never be. then we get a cab and go home, we fight over me paying, because i always pay for the ride back when it's the two of us, and he tries to give me money but we keep messing around about that. and then we get to his place and our other friends JC and S are there, and JC was attempting to cook some shrimp and pasta like i had made maybe a month ago one drunken night, so he was relieved when i got home and he wanted me to take over. so i finished cooking and then sat with R, and then he went to find a movie to put on in his room and i followed, as always, and we got in bed. it's like a routine now, i carry my contact lens case with me when i go out now so that i can take them out when i stay over. i get in bed and take off my earrings and hand them to him and he puts them on his nightstand, or if i have my glasses that day, same thing, i just hand them to him and we get settled. i don't know why i never thought to keep a toothbrush at his place, that would be wise, but it's too late now. i either go home and brush or i just say fuck it and skip it (i know, bad example from the dentist.. oops). and then i wake up, say hi, gather my belongings, and say bye. six more weeks of this. six more weeks and then i can't pretend that i have him anymore. 9:30 a.m. - 2010-04-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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