silver4's Diaryland Diary

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bailamos

went out last night, someone's birthday, and it was latin night, which i usually have to be in the mood for, so it took a while to kick in. but i start drinking and chat it up with people, we were there super early so dancing wasn't really going on much at the time at first. i had fun, ended up dancing a lot with the girls, which usually i want a guy (R) there to dance with (he never showed up by the way, but it was fine, he redeemed himself later). there was this guy there in the class below me, also from vegas, hispanic, hot, yummy... but he has a girlfriend. like i care. :) so he became my dance partner, i think his gf is in vegas still, they should break up so i can legitimately play with him. we danced basically all night together, he was showing me how to do this latin dance and that latin dance, and i wanted to show him the way i dance in the bedroom... but i get ahead of myself. i held on to him all night, he's fuckin awesome. how sad though. i would definitely get on him if he were available. he's also good friends with H. so sadly, one of his friends who he came with was super drunk and apparently just chillin outside, so he went to be a good friend and tend to him. by that point, most of my other friends had left, so i was like dammit... hung around for a bit but was then like fuck it. i started to leave and this guy who lives in my building wanted me to wait for him. so i did. and waited. and he was talking to some of our girl friends from school, but they don't live in our building. so i was like wtf are they coming or no? then we are outside and i go to get a cab, and then he is like oh wait no, lets a cab drive off, and goes back to the girls, so i said bye and went on my own search and head home. he calls me and asks if i left, and i said 'hell yeah i left, i wanted to leave, you let a cab go, i'm not patient' and he said he wanted to get the girls a cab, but to me, there were three of them, they weren't drunk, they would've been just fine, plus they didn't even say to me that they were trying to leave, it was all him. and R had texted me (redeemed himself) when i was about to leave, and asked me how the place was, so i was happy because he hadn't said anything to me earlier except that he wasn't going out to that place. so i tell him that i'm heading home and coming over, and i go straight to his place and we talk about our lives and how much we love each other and our futures together... i mean, we just talk about the night. then that one guy came over who i ditched for a cab, and he just fuckin sat there while we watched a movie, but eventually he left, so R and i got comfy in bed and went to sleep.

i just wonder sometimes if he's just being polite, or if he really gives a shit that i stay over. he doesn't usually text me and look for me when we're not somewhat together for the night. if we get separated or so, that's when we go at it, but otherwise i would just expect that if we go to different places for the night, that we just wouldn't see one another at all or even try. so that hidden hopeless romantic in me likes to consider everything to be a sign of his love for me... but it's not.

ugh okay i have a headache and i'm still tired even though i woke up officially around 10.

i just want to kiss him again. fucker.

people kept asking me all night where he was and if he's coming. maybe we have gotten back to that stage of life, where it's assumed that i know where he is and his status at all times. some of the inquiries though were from random people i wouldn't expect to ask me about him. and nowadays, people usually ask me about M instead, who really doesn't interest me much anymore. don't know if we'll get around to hooking up again before school is over, and i really don't care. he needs to learn to enjoy having sex with his wife and stop wanting me.

i shall now start my day. shower, starbucks, study. and wait to see if R wants to go out tonight.

11:22 a.m. - 2010-05-01

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