silver4's Diaryland Diary

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spastic

i'm fairly convinced that the cousin of my patient today has a crush on me. he's always trying to find something to say to me and throwing a ton of compliments to me and saying nice things etc. it's cute, but i stand there and react all politely and shake his hand and work the small talk. i don't think she notices at all, my patient. she's too preoccupied telling me how much of a wonderful person i am and how she thinks that i do great dentistry and i'm really good with her. it's nice and all, i really appreciate it. my only thing is, i'm not really that nice of a person. i mean, i'm good and all in the general sense, but we all know how i am with the men and the immorality issue... i'm not quite there. i try to back off of the M thing, but he's so adamant. he misses me, he wants to spend time with me, all of that stuff, but i just feel like... i don't want to.. ha, he just immed me. yeah, i just feel like it's done. i appreciate the friendship and i should leave it at that. however, i think i should hook up with H again. it's been a long time, like november or december. we see each other and chat a little here and there and allude to hooking up, but we never get around to anything, nobody initiates. i should initiate something. i'll email him and see what's up with him this weekend. might as well. i could go for the workout. and i like his creativity.

okay cool, i just emailed him. i think i got the point across.

i talked to this lady who is our rep for our disability and malpractice insurance, and we discussed fees etc for continuation of the plan blah blah blah, yay me, doing something important. but the conversation later transitioned to online dating, because she said she's done a fair amount of it, and she was giving me some info on it and things to be wary of. it sort of sounds fun, the whole dating thing. i think though that i'd like to not have sex with a guy right away. if i could wait like a month or something, that would be nice. maybe even like 2 months... don't know how well that's work out. i'd feel more decent i guess if i hold out for at least a little longer than normal. i can't help it if i like sex. it would be exciting to date, to get to know somebody new. i'm tired of reusing the people i've used before for my entertainment. time to dip into a new stash. i mean, i'd probably be multitasking though still, just to pass the time until i'm "ready" to hook up with a new guy.

holy fuck i just realized my clinical boards is in 3 weeks???? WTFFFFF

i'm tired now.

10:33 p.m. - 2010-05-10

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