silver4's Diaryland Diary

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day 1 upcoming

licensure exam starts tomorrow morning. i called my perio patient a couple hours ago and she's confirmed to come in. so tomorrow is a quadrant of deep cleaning in the a.m. and root canals (endo) on two extracted teeth in the afternoon. we had to submit our mountings of the teeth we wanted to do the endos on early this afternoon at like 12:30, and then we all lived in semi suspense as to whether or not our quadrants would be accepted. fortunately it was all good, so hopefully nothing crazy like tooth fracture or anything happens tomorrow. in which case i will have a breakdown and freak out a little. understandably so.

M is trippin. he's soooooooo clingy to me. i can't take a moment and breathe. and he booked a ticket to vegas for the end of june... wait, actually it's just a week after i get there. ugh. well he booked a ticket for the poker tournament, so he'll be there for a few days. and his honey will be out here still, so he'll want to kick it with me. crazy man. he gets affected when i say how much i can't wait to leave this damn school and get away from everybody, because he doesn't want me to leave. blah blah blah boo fuckin hoo. and he follows me around clinic and he wants to know what i'm doing all the time and he wants to be there all the time. he's come over after school three times this week, just to hang out, with other people in my apartment as well. it's fun and all, but i told him today that i have to study, i can't sit around and kick it. we see each other all day. people already say that we are school husband and wife. and it's true, we basically are. i'm glad i'm not really married though. i can't get married. not until someone really good comes around. someone who is worth it. i figure when i get away from this environment and get myself situated with employment and possibly my own office, i can look into finding someone to love. i talked to N for a bit yesterday. he's such a difficult case, but i love talking to him. i just want to crack him. i think last night was the last time i'd see him :( i have to convince him to visit me in vegas. he keeps saying no, but i take that as him just playing hard to get, and basically a tentative yes. i see the way he smiles when he sees me coming down the walkway to annoy him. he loves it.

and of course i give up on R. for obvious reasons. regardless of the times he's told me that he cares about me. he's shown his bad side enough times for me to know what's really up. he crossed me this last weekend, details to be withheld for now. i don't care how many times i say that i love him, i don't care about anything about him any more. it's best to be strong and avoid his lies.

grrr this will have to be continued later. i am being summoned over to my friend's place. they mentioned strawberries. strawberries and men. mmmmm

8:35 p.m. - 2010-06-04

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