silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guten tag Good morning. I'm already bored and I've barely left the bed. I should probably head to gym early and get a head start on the day that will still consist of absolutely nothing. Yesterday I considered going to the park and having a simple solo picnic and read a book, but it got a little late, late in terms of I knew my dad would be back from work soon so I didn't want to be in disapperary world. But i shall do that today: quick gym visit (I've gotten so much better at going due to the lack of anything else to do), make picnic meal, and peace out. This guy JC, I guess I should say my friend, from sf is coming out here in 2 weeks to celebrate his birthday. He only just sent out the plan to all of us two days ago, so it's a little last minute for people to get affordable tickets or whatever. And so people do a "reply to all" when they reply to his message and I see who all is coming along, and so far nobody interesting. I mean, I reply solely to him because I don't think everybody wants to open my message that is directed to him, but that's probably just crazy talk. I assume that the guys I would like to come, JK and R, will definitely not make it, as I know JK works now on Saturdays and R... he probably just wouldn't come because he has plans to come at some other time next month or so for some chick's bday. And honestly I wouldn't want it to be just R, I want JK to come if R is here. I really like JK and have grown more and more fond of him the last few months. I talk to him online all the time, not as much as M, but second highest I'm sure. He has a gf and she's fun, I'm not trying to intrude in that... but if one night he decided to get a little crazy with me, I wouldn't stop him... :) But seriously, I love that he's neutral, so if I need an escape from emotion or stupidity or whatnot, I can find him and joke around with him, and life is grand again. I will admit that I have a slight, very slight, far away crush on him, possibly because I don't have anyone else to be interested in right now. So when I'm online and he pops up and initiates the conversation, I get happy. But it's not real interest, it's convenience. Internet convenience, because regarding irl, he's in Cali and I'm not so blah. Anyways, he'll be back sometime soon though he said. I'm wasting time, I should be getting ready for gym. Because I love it oh so much... And yes, that is sarcasm. It's a growing relationship, needs some work. Maybe when I start feeling better or as if results are getting obtained, our relationship will be a great one. Also, I was thinking, my "problem areas" are mostly problems to just me, because I see girls with similar body style to me and it's not a big deal, like some of the dancers on music videos on tv (I know, not ideal to compare to. Actually last night was the first time I saw music videos in years, I just hadn't changed the channel and let it ride..), the dancers or the singers themselves are rocking these thick thighs like I have. My body is mostly muscular except this stupid ass belly (beer belly?) that fortunately I can successfully suck in or hide. I'm not in bad shape, I have friends and family that envy my body, not that I think they should.. I see skinny girls with no bellies and skinny jeans and I want to flick them over with my finger. Hell no will my body let me wear skinny jeans. I actually prefer to be the size that I am. I just wish that the clothes I have would fit the size, because the one thing I hate to do is shop for jeans. And I can only pull off these summer dresses and shorts for so long, fall is going to come along and bring a breeze, and the world knows I hate breezes, so these legs are gonna need something to cover them up... Anyways. Enough babble. I swear this place is just somewhere for me to talk to myself, as if my head isn't enough. Okay well hopefully something exciting and wonderful happens today. If not... well damn. 9:27 a.m. - 2010-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||