silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In dire need New neighbors next door. Loud as fuck, and just talking. No music, no laughter, just talking. Today was a waste. Every day is a waste. I went to visit my sis, the main one I ever see. I never see my younger sis, it's sad but I guess she's okay and all; my mom always says how she was just over at the house, blah blah. Whatev, it's on her if she ever wants to hang. Randomly calling me to ask where a fast food place is isn't conversation IMO. But at least I am granted with her voice. I love sleeping pills, they help me avoid reality. Sometimes I just want to dream, because that dream world has so much more to offer, and there's hope, and there's people who give a shit about me more than they do when I am awake. I doubt that right now, at this moment, that there is a single person out there thinking about me, missing me, yearning to talk to me. Then why do I waste my thoughts on some of them? T will never think about me again, R is an indifferent dick... are those the only two who steal my thoughts? I imagine so. But I'm sure M is thinking something inappropriate about me, he always is. He doesn't count though, because I don't care. And just because. I feel so empty. I wish I were drunk, drunk makes me happy and carefree. I need money to get drunk. It's such a vicious cycle: no job means no money means no alcohol means depressed. Depressed but of sound mind. If I didn't drink my way through school, I could've done so much better. Not that it matters in the end; just pass classes, get your degree, pass the licensure exams, go about your day. Whatever. I have a few things in mind once I get paychecks. Getting insanely drunk is definitely on the list. I give up. This was lame, I know. Give me something exciting in life and I'll have something to write about. Did I mention I love my car? There's a plus. 11:17 p.m. - 2010-10-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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