silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arizona :) Thanksgiving was lame initially but got better. I didn't overeat, partially because the food this time actually wasn't awesome, partially because I didnt want to overeat, and partially because when I went to cut meat, my wrist hurt terribly. Don't know if I mentioned it, but I think I popped something or whatever in my wrist a few days ago, most likely when I was doing an extraction, and it started bugging the shit out of me after a while. I bought a wrap thing to put pressure on it and let it chill, so after the first night of the wrap it felt better, but then after some use through the day it felt shitty again, so I'm rockin the wrap again. So I'm in arizona now woo hoo!! Long ass drive but def worth it, sooo happy to see my friend CG! Pulled up after all the driving and we were so excited to see each other :) big hugs and stuff. We went to dinner and chatted up and stuff, I got drunk because she wanted to order a bottle of wine, but of course she got tired and full after a while, so guess who felt responsible for drinking it all up? Moi. I like to drink and all but damn. But it was good. And so we crashed after a while, guess there's a couple random things we will do, then I have to drive back on Sunday :( So I texted R per her encouragement, to see what he was up to so we could all hang out or so. He was busy doing what he referred to as "garbage", and said the next night we could hang. But again, no expectations, I didn't come here for him, although I secretly expect him to drop all of his life plans and ask me to marry him, although that may be a tad of a stretch and a bit rash... I digress. Actually, I don't digress because I don't have a point. I left my sleeping pills in Vegas (dumb ass!!) so here I am, it's almost 3 am, and I technically went to bed hours ago, so now I am awake and miserable, getting up every few mins to grab bites of thanksgiving leftovers that I brought to share with CG. I would love to see R, I just don't know if I will. I wish that damn boy didn't hold my heart. I honestly didn't expect to still have any thought toward this donk still, I was hoping it would be graduate, part, live separate lives, disregard him (to an extent), survive, fall in love with someone else who loves me back? Something like that. Anyways, guess I'll go pick at leftovers again and try to sleep... Don't know what lies in store for the weekend, but I'm so happy to be here, if anything for an escape, and definitely to see CG!! She is so lovely and fun, I love this girl <3 My whole drive here was riddled with dad, mom, and sis calling me along the way to make sure I'm okay and to see where I was and how far out and blah blah blah. I understand the concern, no doubt, but don't they think the incessant calling and phone convo is counterproductive to attentive driving?? It's like...okay, come on. I really want to focus on the road. I'd rather focus on that and get to my destination than tell people every step of the way where I am. I left so I could breathe, and they still wouldn't let me even do that gracefully. Not to be a hater, I am appreciative of my family, but there's a line that has to be drawn at some point. I can't breathe without them regulating the air quality around me. Yeah, that's an exaggeration, but I seriously feel like I can't take on my own life because they don't want to let go and acknowledge that I actually 1) am a jump and a skip away from 29, 2) survived quite well and happily for three years in another state, and 3) am not 16 and irresponsible! I have been nothing but compliant to the proper ways of life, aside from the overdrinking, occasional smoking, and potentially emotionally deleterious sexual adventures... I mean, in spite of that, I have been quite responsible and respectable, with the whole school forever thing and working and not going to jail like several of my cousins or getting married and pregnant to rebel like other cousins. I picked a solid career with my own damn thought process, hell, even the high school I went to I picked and applied to because I didn't want to go to a shit high school by default, and I was top of the damn class with an engineering major. All I'm asking for is for some slack. I'm not stupid and I don't (regularly) make stupid decisions. I know what I'm doing. My dad even asked me before I left if I was going to drive in the right lane on my way here. Seriously???? I said no. And he was like "WHAT? WHY NOT??" and I said "because I want to rebel". Come on. Come. On. Don't ask a stupid question, because you will get an ignorant answer. I'm a sarcastic woman. Overly sarcastic. Tempt me and you will get a taste. Okay, 3:30 almost now. This semi blows. I am so tired but afraid it won't work out in my favor any time soon. This phone's gonna lose it's battery soon so I'll have to charge :/ it's pissing me off too because it's an iPhone and the home button stopped working, and had been tripping the last few weeks, so I basically have to shut down and restart to go to a new screen. So for now, I have to do whatever I want to on the Internet, but if I want to switch to my email, I have to restart. My texts? CALL SOMEBODY? Restart. Fb? Well I try to avoid it anyways, but restart. You catch my drift. Okay, at this point I'm just rambling for the sake of rambling. I want to see R, I don't want him to act like a dick though. So here we go: nice vacay, R behaves, no one annoys, everyone is happy. Easy. Looking forward to the rest of my weekend. Update prob this time tomorrow, unless I actually buy some pills. I'm not addicted, I just enjoy sleep. Okay, okay, I'll stop. Good night dland 2:41 a.m. - 2010-11-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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