silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ohhh work... Why am I up at 3 am? Meh. Why not? Super tired though. Havent been on here in a few days, I don't think I'd even touched my computer aside from monitoring my bank accounts. This week at work was actually really good. Tues and weds were busy and it was crazy because I know I'm more than capable of pulling things together and multitasking, getting my focus and mind organized to get my shit done, yet the front office and the main doctor were like terrified or something that I'd get overwhelmed and couldnt handle multiple rooms and cases. I'm like dude, come on. I know what the hell I'm doing, but nothing is going to be proven until you guys give me a fuckin chance and stop giving me bitch work.... I didn't say it like that. Ive basically been completely frustrated there, you know that. I speak my mind and I get responses but no action. I say I want to be respected and treated just like the other dr there and they say "okay of course, we don't have bias, blah blah blah", yet I look at the schedule and there is blatant bias. Sooo... What? Am I blind or stupid? Give me some damn credit, I have common sense. Anyways, schedule stuff went haywire in their minds, but in my mind it was fine, and I was like yeah, I'm cool, no worries, I can handle it. The other dr got really sick and went to the emergency room (kidney stones :( so sad) and so he peaced out and the office freaks out like oh no what are we going to do??? HELLO YOU HAVE ANOTHER FULLY CAPABLE DR RIGHT HERE. So I took on his cases along with mine, and managed to still get out and close the place on time, as opposed to when he works and closes it out usually 1.5 hrs after he's supposed to. The office was all "oh no, we are going to be here all night!" stfu idiots, you haven't seen me work because you never give me shit, don't assume I'm going to work the way he does. Long story short, I proved myself and they were excited and impressed, but I wasn't all excited like they seemed to be, because imo it's supposed to be this certain way, I shouldn't have to prove myself, I have actually been in the damn dental field itself longer than this guy has been a dr (10 years already, thank you very much), so I have umm a bit of an idea how to handle my shit from all angles. And the main dr spoke to me today and said that she's so happy it went well and that she was proud of me and all that bs, and I'm like okay, listen. This is bs! There's no reason to be proud, it's my profession. Yea I'm a new grad and I'm younger than the other dr (by only like 6 years, yet he seems to think that's an eternity) but don't fuckin patronize me. I'm not gonna be all grateful that you guys are finally getting a damn clue when I believe credit has been warranted towards me for a long ass time now. My point is, I'm not stupid, I'm not naive, I'm capable, and I'm not a wimp. So when they try to confront me with bs, I will stand up for myself. I said I'm tired of being overlooked. "we don't overlook you, we try to make it even..." oh really? I showed them a case of a perfect example from yesterday where I was overlooked and they gave the pts to the other dr when I couldve done it (and I did, only because other dr left to the ER). The thing is, and I'm not going to draw it out too much bc I know it's not the most interesting to discuss, that there are patients in the office that neither myself nor kidney dr have seen, because we both started in December. So either main dr or a previous one had seen them. What I am seeing is that the vast majority of these pts are being scheduled with kidney dr, and so he has a full schedule of pts that neither one of us has seen, and I have an empty schedule of playing bubble spinner and words with friends on my phone in the back. Fair? Obviously not. So they wonder why I seem to be upset, and I'm like how many times do I have to say the same thing? I say it and I'm talking to myself. So office manager asked me to tell her if things are bugging me, and I said its always the same thing. Then I pulled her at some point today and got to show her the exact example, and I think it finally fuckin clicked where they've been fucking up with me. So, yeah. I think it should be okay now, in terms of them paying attention and stopping their stupid doubt of me. I have faith in myself, I know my family and friends have faith in me. I just need to be given the chance or otherwise I'm going to be out of there. Blah I know that was long. Other than that, nothing really. Suuuper excited that I'll be back in sf in 2 weeks for some alumni thing. I got a hotel next to the main venue and my former roomie and I will be staying there together. I will meet up with M at the venue and spend time with him there, and I otherwise want to go party with my friend G who I got a lot closer to towards the end of school when we had a long rotation together, and he's been out here to Vegas several times since graduation, so we've partied it out a few times and I'm looking forward to doing it again in sf :) soooo excited!!! And I have to try to meet up with my former patient who sends me candy and cards for every holiday; he wants to meet up for lunch or dinner and I really have to make it a point to see him... I think I'll aim for lunch on the Sunday before my flight back out. Fun times! That's about it though, I'll figure out the rest when I'm out there. There's a restaurant I want to go to that both myself and kidney dr loved, and I want to surprise him and bring him this sandwich that we both loved. I should try to go back to sleep. I had went to my assistant's house to watch a movie and drink, completely passed out from all the wine there. Got back here feeling drunk and passed out, woke up again at like 1:30 and watched telenovelas, and here I am now. I have to "work" at the other office at 9 tomorrow, have an eye dr appt at 12 (my right eye is very sadly temperamental lately), and then random stuff. I'll see if mom wants to do lunch or something. Waking up early to make breakfast for dad before he goes to work... Actually it's almost 4 now, my alarm is set for 6:30. Hahaha... Ok I'll try to sleep then. Good night/good morning dland. 3:00 a.m. - 2011-02-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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