silver4's Diaryland Diary

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New

Bah. I feel so out of the loop.

I moved in to my new apartment on Friday! Very happy. It was a tedious task but happy it's done..mostly done. I still have some stuff at my dads that I have to grab, but the majority of my belongings are with me. I love the place though, I love the silence, I love the peace of being mostly in my own world. Yeah, neighbor stuff every now and then is to be expected. But I don't care. I haven't gotten the amenities of cable and Internet yet, and my lazy ass will probably wait a while anyways before doing so.

I enjoy the peace. I get a lot of time to think though...not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I went to pick up my papasan chair from my ex yesterday. I honestly don't care to associate with him at all. I still have some kitchen things there, but I'd rather just scratch associations and leave it all alone. Not like he was a bad chapter in my life, but he just isn't much of anything to me now and I actually hate the way he looks at me when he does see me. It's like a piece of meat kind of thing.

As for my thinking too much, of course who crosses my damn mind every day now is R, simply because I know he's coming to town. Will I get to see him, hang out with him?? Who knows. Stupid bachelor party. Will he say anything to me? Will he ignore the fact that he knows damn well that I'm sitting around wondering if he'll say anything to me? Ugh. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve the mental agony that comes forth every time he breathes in my vicinity.

Anyways. I will just go with the flow. I will work through the week and tend to my new place and smile and all that nonsense. its great to finally have things the way I want them. And I can be lazy and sit in bed without anyone asking me what's wrong with me. And I don't have to always be semi decent because of random visitors (not mine) because I won't be having random visitors. Ahhh the life. And all the food in the fridge and pantry i know is good and healthy (err..healthy enough) and not even close to expiration.

I will work twice as hard if I have to, if I get the opportunity to do so. Whatever it takes to never have to depend on anyone else for housing.

Hm. I def need a couch though.

Last night I went to a BBQ at my friend's house, my high school boy crew. It's always fun to meet up with them and just chill. I've always loved being with the boys. Apparently out of the 4 that were there, the only one not living with his parents is the one who is married. It's fine and all, I was fine for it in general; it's just a big issue of privacy, choice, and independence for me. If I didn't mind being told how to do things and being questioned about everything I do and where I go and who I'm with and why, then it'd be fine. I imagine that the boys don't have that situation, plus with me being female, im sure no doubt that I'm treated differently than if my dad had a son. And last night around 8:30 my dad called to see if I was okay. Ummm... Yeah that might be an issue. I assume he forgot that I lived in San francisco for 3 years without his direct supervision. Apparently the only way to get him off my case is to move out of state. And Im actually pretty far from his end of the city (he's way north, I'm fairly south), too. Oh well. Before this round of staying there, the last time I lived with him I was 21. I guess the 7-8 years in that time frame didn't happen. Hm.

Okay, on to my day :)

9:24 a.m. - 2011-03-13

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