silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Let's see if I can do a complete entry. I usually start one and then fall asleep or get distracted blah blah and it just goes to crap so I give up.

I woke up around 3:30. Why am I up still? Even more, why was I up at 3:30 after I had taken three rounds of nyquil? I went to bed around midnight too. Something tells me today will be...rough.

Very brief summary, New York was awesome. I loved it, the weather was perfect, my friends were perfect. We always have a great time no matter where we are; as long as we are together, it will be fun... Yea that sounds kinda sappy and cutesy, but I love my crew. Even though I don't talk to all of them regularly (once a week maybe for JK, once every...three months for the boys?) , we still act like perfect fools when we are together. I love it. Im hoping JK gets down to Vegas in august to party with me again. And as for the boys, they said maybe July-august.

As for R, meh. He behaves exactly as I expect him to. I don't have those feelings for him anymore, time has done great success for me in that department. Now, when we are both drunk, maybe we are dumb together, but that is just being drunk. So sober moments together, we are just fine. Well... drunk moments we are still okay too. Just don't put us in a bed together.

Lots of pictures, lots of memories. I think our crew might be the most solid one out of our whole class. I'm definitely happy for us.

On to other things...life and freedom outside of the old office... first week of liberty. I've worked one day this week, and again today. Lots of time off. I have to figure out what I'm going to do for work. Skipping that topic for now.

So I'm essentially bored with my personal life. My friends are distant, geographically. My local friends are unreliable, yet they expect me to be available for them. I am and will always be the type of friend I would want to have, so I'm not going to switch it up and be not there like they all seem to be. Again though, my "fault" for being the only unmarried one and for having decided to run off to dental school out of state and get a degree. Things change drastically in the span of three years. Can't expect much. Anyways, in the midst of my personal-life boredom, I seem to have developed a hyper active craving for men/accompaniment. I want someone to hang out with, to go out with, to dinner and shows and walk and be part of a damn couple with. I need to stop being so damn reserved and picky or whatever. So I think, well fine, I'll try the online thing again...but I still know I will soon reject it, again. Anyways. The problem is that I'm watching this ally mcbeal series still, I'm only into the third season, and it's all about relationships and the pursuit of someone or that special one etc. But it's basically weakening me, enwimpening me. Is that a word? It is now. Point being, I am praying for someone to come around. I did meet a guy who seems to have it together and is smart, tall, my age, attractive. By "meet", I mean he was a patient. Of course. And it's wrong to flirt with my patients blah blah blah... But what do you expect? I'm human. I'm a sexually charged human. And when I see him, I want to jump on him. Plain and simple. So I work with him twice, did a recall exam and then he came back for some fillings, and then that last visit I told him I wouldnt be there to complete the other fillings because I was leaving. He, completely adorably, said NOOOO! and I was like man, if I could just take this man with me... So I explain that I'm going elsewhere blah blah but someone else will take over and it was fun to work with you blah blah. Shake hands and part ways. Do I leave it at that? Nope. I decide it's important to give him a post-op call to make sure his new fillings felt okay. No answer, I leave a message with my number to call me back if he has any questions or concerns. Super professional? Yep. So that was last Wednesday I think. I save his number in my phone for wishful thinking. So yesterday I'm feeling a mix of allergies/potential cold, stuffy etc, so mid day I give up on being productive and I take my first round of nyquil around 1 pm and take a nap. Wake up just before 3:30, and maybe two minutes after that, my phone rings. I deliriously look at the phone and who is it calling me back a week later??? My exact thoughts were something like "you've got to be shitting me!" Yessss.... So I clear my throat and put on my professional voice and answer. He says everything is great blah blah and thanks for calling, and I'm thinking "can I just interrupt to say that I love you?" but I don't :( I say again that I enjoyed working with him and that it sucks I won't be there to finish him up, and he's like "well...where will you be? Can I come to you still?" Umm OBVIOUSLY! So I give him details and he said he'd call and make an appointment. A little chit chat, and we hang up. Me, I call one of my sisters, and I'm sniffling because of the allergies/cold and she asks if I'm okay. I say no, and I proclaim that I am in love.

Okay. Might be a little premature. I will stop myself and say that the guy was comfortable and happy with me working on his teeth and just wants me to finish him up. That's what a normal person should think. Me? I asked my sister if it was too soon to write my vows. Joking of course, but still.

Wow I rambled. So I have a follower. Just a handful of fillings left to do on him and it's over. :(

Unless I can get him to love me back.

Stupid tv show is making me a hopeless romantic. Must get ready for my day.

But when we hung up he called me by my first name instead of doctor, which I actually prefer people to do, even though I introduce myself as dr blah blah. It sounds so lovely in his voice...

I know. Lame. I swear I'm better than this.

On to my day.

5:00 a.m. - 2011-06-03

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