silver4's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good morning Sunday

I suppose my body or my mind has it out for me. One of the two seems to think that I only need 3-4 hours of sleep at night and that it's all good from there. Ummm it's not all good. I actually do like to sleep. This last week has been a no sleep week for some reason. I got in from a club last night around 1 maybe, finished cooking pad Thai around 2, not sure what time I passed out, but woke up maybe around 5:30. And I hate it, with a passion, because it takes so much effort to fall back asleep. Ugh :( And I'm notorious for cooking when I get home from being out drinking and dancing, I don't know why I do it so often. There is no need for me to go all out cooking at 2 am. Anyways. Went out with some dental school people from the class below me, with some guy I never hung out with in school who was in town for some reason kinda passing through he said. Sure. Why not. We chatted a decent amount, he bought me a drink and he kept coming to dance with me, which I felt bad because the girl who invited me told me how much she liked to dance with him (platonic; they are just good friends), and I was trying to make it so he wasn't just dancing with me so she could play with him, but he kept on grabbing on me. Silly man.

Speaking of silly men, I havent really spoken to my former boss/ guy/ friend who came at me the other night. He had invited me over the next night "to finish the last beer" and I was like umm haha nope tired blah blah gym excuse blah. I have zero desire to get involved with him, and I don't plan on it. Stupid guy. I thought jokingly that maybe it's a pheromone thing, but then I thought wait a minute... maybe it really is. Because these are the guys who habitually want me. That plus apparently a bunch of 40-50 year olds on match.com seem to love me, so even that one I can't seem to escape. I was hoping I had left most of the drama in San Francisco, but looks like I carry it with me. So tired of it. I deserve so much better. And he said oh, shouldnt tell anyone (the girls at his office namely) about what happens with us (like I would tell the office? Come on), as we should keep it a secret. No. I'm tired of these secrets. I don't want any more secrets. I deserve better, someone I can be seen out in public with.

Blah. Whatevs. I look forward to saying no to him when he tries to make something happen. Maybe it will switch my pheromone chemistry around a bit?

I texted R last night something random and he just texted me back this morn. He moved to Dallas. Apparently a lot of people from my school are there, making bank too. I don't regret my decision to not move to Texas, since I dont believe in regrets. I hope that in time it will work out for me, ideally sooner than later. Life is frustrating, I'm tired all the time, but I am hopeful. I'm happy to not be living in the same city as R though. I would be a complete mess. Oh! I forgot, when I went out a few weeks ago, I was at some club with a couple of the same girls I was out with last night, and I met some guy there. I wasnt really attracted to him, but he was nice. We were chatting it up a bit, and eventually he asked me what I do. I said dentist blah blah, and the whole group of girls I was with were dentists. He was like "really?? My whole group is dentists too!" so that was funny. And then asked names, and his name, of course, was the same as R. A common Indian name actually, but I've only known one. So I was like WTF seriously? I am past the R thing I think, I meet some guy, he seems cool, and yes, of course, he is an Indian dentist named R. Hello spirits of the world fucking with me? Needless to say, I did not get his number. I don't have the energy for that.

Ok gym time I guess.

6:27 a.m. - 2011-08-14

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

opposure
journalmine
alethia
goose-girl
enurta
hematidrosis
ericg
raygirl999
lostasyou
omfggwtf
permeation
englishsucks
duplicitous
newschick
sntheticlove
avantbedroc
athenyx
warpednormal
ninabean
evilyoyo
simeons-twin
cloudy-night
fragilegirl8
starscream77