silver4's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

March

So many things lately. My plan to make the main office get their act together with my schedule has actually worked, and my average compensation has improved. Sucks that I am now down two days a week with the loss of the other job, but I am basically making more in six day pay periods than I was making in eight day pay periods. It would be nice to add those days back on, but I fear that they would slack again and it would be a spiral of nonsense. So I now continue to search for a new job.

Mind you, I hate looking for new jobs. I hate the interview process. I hate starting over. But I will do it if I have to.

I have continued vacillating between specializing in pedo or starting my own office. I want to specialize to supposedly just give in and make life easier, but I feel like general and adult dentistry may still be my calling. So, start up my own??? I don't know. Time to brainstorm again I suppose.

M is coming to town in a few weeks for a bachelor party. He asked me if we could hook up when he comes to the city. He is stupid. I love him, but seriously, he is stupid. I wish he would get over wanting to mess around with me. By the way, he just found out today that he and his wife are having a boy. Therein lies an example of his ongoing stupidity: expecting a baby and still wants to hook up with me. What the hell did I do to him?

More importantly, I continue to fall for ML. I talk to him every day. His birthday is next week and we are supposed to go out for it. Of course, I'm still not really with him. I really like the guy, but we haven't had much opportunity to interact with one another and really get to know one another. I mean, I talked online or via text with a few guys when I tried the Internet dating, and the guys were cool or seemed decent and all, but then when in person it all kinda went to shit. Good thing is that I have actually been around him in person, we just haven't had a real date or anything yet, and that is what I'm waiting for. A chance to freakin interact. So yeah. We are going to see a show next week. Something I have been working on for too damn long. Of course I fall for a guy who works basically 9-11 hrs a day, 6 days a week. Of course. Why not? Why not add a bit of complication? Because my life is obviously too damn simple.

Speaking of which, R is supposed to come down next month too. Of course he is. I like that I don't interact with him. I love him too as a person, but I'd rather not see him without having a buffer around like JK, a back up person to talk to to ground me. That is all I shall say about him.

I got an ultrasound done and a heart monitor put on yesterday. I will find out the results next week, but honestly I know nothing is wrong, I'm just going through the motions and doing what I have to do to have it all cleared, especially so my family will have sound minds about my episode. I feel fine, I haven't had another issue. It's all good now. Just stress I suppose. Surprising, huh?

I hope to find a chance tomorrow to sit down in peace and brainstorm. And come up with a decision. If I don't, no worries. Such is life.

Lately more and more I want to settle down and have a good stable relationship and have a child. I wouldn't be like M, or like any of the others like him who come to me. I don't want to be deceitful. I wouldn't be. I care too much. I would like for ML to claim me so that I wouldn't feel bad when these other weirdos keep coming to me. He isn't bold or direct by any means though. I hate the analogy, but this actually applies to him: dealing with him is like pulling teeth sometimes!

But anyways. Back to my wine. And that is my update.

9:07 p.m. - 2012-03-17

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

igotsprung
puresunsh1ne
enurta
lostasyou
deflective
journalmine
opposure
alethia
hematidrosis
goose-girl
raygirl999
duplicitous
ericg
cloudy-night
englishsucks
permeation
omfggwtf
starscream77
athenyx
avantbedroc
sntheticlove
evilyoyo
ninabean
newschick
simeons-twin
warpednormal
fragilegirl8