silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Ramble. As always

Ugh...so in my search for a new job, apparently I missed an email response from an office telling me to call in for an interview. The email went straight to my spam box, so I didn't see it until yesterday, 10 days later. I rarely check my email on the computer, usually on my phone, and the spam filter is different on the gmail and doesn't show up on my phone spambox... Whatever.. I will call the place tomorrow, since I never got a chance during the day today to call them. Hopefully there is still a position...hell, hopefully it's a decent place! I suppose I shall find out soon. Pisses me off though, because I would prefer to be more on top of that stuff. I seriously check online every single day for job opportunities, and I get so close to just giving up and adding the days back onto the office I am at. But I fear that would be a regressive mistake. I need to be in an environment where I will learn more and grow, not be steady and stagnate. That's the disadvantage of a non-profit office that only has so many resources, that do not get allocated to the general dentist. Sure, I want to do implant stuff... But who will get the implant materials? They are expensive and I'm not paying that out of my pocket. Sure I want to do more surgeries, but the compensation I get doesn't equate for the time it takes to do them. I want to do laser treatment and more esthetic and full mouth therapies, but I work in a community where people have urgent needs addressed, and will only focus on those specific concerns, because finances dictate everything. Which they kindly remind me about, every single day. Blah blah I can't get my teeth fixed because I don't have insurance...really? I remember when I was 19, 20 or so, and I was a full time college student and full time worker, and I had no insurance, and I went for my check ups and I had a cavity and they said it cost over $100 and I said okay. And I wasn't rich. I had a $6 or $7/hour job. I'm just saying, we can all have excuses I suppose, but some things should top the priority list. Do I get my tooth fixed or do I buy new shoes? Hm. I suppose I am biased though, because I am quite indifferent when it comes to shoes. Or clothes. Or fashion. Or makeup. And you wonder why I'm single! Damn. I set myself up for that one...

Anyways. I'm recovering from a shitty cold that started on Sunday. I got the tickle in my throat Sunday night and thought "ahh...fuck" and drugged myself with vitamins. Pointless, because I woke up Monday morning with the same easily identifiable tickle. I calmly informed my coworkers that I was starting a cold, and I was going to be looking like a complete wreck the following day. I let them know that day one would be silence and sniffles, that day two would be functional zombie day (sans human consumption, or any consumption on that note), and that day three I would be better. I like that I am fully aware of my body's response to a cold now. Day two was definitley shitty. I wanted to call in. I had a terrible fever, I felt miserable, I looked miserable. I looked like shit, and I told them that I would. I got solace and comfort in sleeping in my hot car during lunch. The sauna treated me well. Today is day three and I survived. Sadly, NyQuil has yet to grant me the kindness of sleepiness that I do desire... but at least I know I will be well for the weekend. Unless something backfires.

Work is interesting. The girls confide in me and talk to me about their concerns in work and life and personal stuff. And not just the girls, but the office manager guy who is 20 years older than me asks me for advice on relationship stuff too. I really do enjoy being that person that people want to talk to about whatever is going on, if it makes them feel better to get it off of their chests or whatnot. They also all tell me about all the things they dislike about the new doctor on board, which in turn conveniently makes them appreciate all the bullshit I put up with there, and the things I do to show them that I appreciate them as well. I know money and gifts aren't everything, but I think it's a good token to buy everyone lunch or bring in donuts or snacks or whatever when everyone seems to be working their asses off... The other doctors dont seem to acknowledge how hard the whole staff works to keep things going smoothly; they get stressed and tired and feel overworked just as I do. But I don't want a pat on the back or anything, I just want to let them know that I care and that I am grateful. So if it means sit down in the chair so I can do your fillings for free, so be it. I don't care, because honestly whatever discounted percentage they would end up paying to get the treatment done is pathetically nothing to me. I'd rather work for free than have them pay $15 for a simple filling to the office, $5 of which goes to me. Yawn. Just get free work, I don't care. I don't even know if they clock out when I work on them, and again, I don't care. They aren't my employees, I don't pay them. It'd be different if it were my own office...but honestly, even then I don't think I'd be picky. I'm so laid back, I don't care. Of course I wouldn't let anyone just take advantage of me though. I'm not that laid back.

I'm still working on ML. I talk to him every day, throughout the day. I hate that I like him. I am pleased that I am not crazy for him though. It's just a light interest, enough to keep me curious. That keeps me going.

And on that note, I shall sleep. It's about 1:30 now and the second dose of NyQuil isn't making me any sleepier than the first, but I'm going to test it out.

Good night dland, sweet dreams

12:33 a.m. - 2012-04-12

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