silver4's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bleh. Just....bleh

Some days I hate being a dentist. I think it's just because of where I work, because the office makes everything so damn frustrating. I have been thinking more about my own office. I just have to get the damn loan figured out and find a location, buy out some existing practice I guess. I get so disheartened almost every day, and it's because this place is draining to me. I work my ass off, I do so much work and put in extra effort and the patients love me and say they wouldn't come there if it weren't for me. So I know I'm doing something right.. I am just not doing everything that I want to do, I am held back being at this office, and I have a tough time trying to find a better place because I am do not have enough years experience to be hired at some offices. But fuck it, right? Just hang in there. Keep swimming?

Gym guy wants to hang out again this week. He said tonight, but I shut that down. I just...ugh. I am not feeling the connection there. At what point do I tell him that? I agreed to go out tomorrow. I do enjoy having someone to hang out with. But he was like "oh good you'll give me another chance to gaze into your eyes"... And I'm like come the fuck on and lay off this dramatic bs. I want someone to be natural with me. Yes, who wouldn't want to be treated like a goddess? But there truly is a point where it needs to chill. It is overwhelming, overbearing. I do like feeling wanted or pretty or whatever, it is nice. I love it. But he does it all wrong, and it is uncomfortable. I know, it is a lame complaint.

I am just too used to being alone. I thrive on my independence. It is so hard for me to allow someone new into my bubble. I need to just be alone and not have any unnecessary thoughts about relationships. Whatever. I don't care enough right now. I'm such a skeptic of relationships (my own, not generalized).

And on that note, the bachelorette is starting.

9:27 p.m. - 2012-05-14

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

igotsprung
puresunsh1ne
enurta
lostasyou
deflective
journalmine
opposure
alethia
hematidrosis
goose-girl
raygirl999
duplicitous
ericg
cloudy-night
englishsucks
permeation
omfggwtf
starscream77
athenyx
avantbedroc
sntheticlove
evilyoyo
ninabean
newschick
simeons-twin
warpednormal
fragilegirl8