silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Dinners and babies

So yay, dinner for fathers day. I went to this japanese hibachi restaurant that my dad likes; myself, him and a sister. It is one of those places where they sit you at a big table with like ten people, filling in the table with whoever from the groups fit until it is basically filled. Anyways, I paid and it was like $200, and I was like fuck, but oh well. Then I drive away and I am thinking about it, and I realize they charged me for a person in the group next to us. Fuuuuck so i go back and they can't just void the transaction because it's a debit blah blah... So I just sit there while the lady gets it all fixed up. It takes over 20 minutes, so I go to the bar to get a beer. The lady comes with all the papers and she seemed all nervous that I'd be upset and she apologized, but I apologized too because I should've caught it as well. She thanked me for being so nice, and went about her way as I finished my beer. Delightful beer.

Also, AV did have her baby, so before the dinner I went to the hospital to see her. She looked like shit and she felt like shit. It was 18 hours of labor and she said it was very painful. Definitely deglamorized the beauty of childbirth/pregnancy.

I don't know what I feel right now from it. I don't know what I think or feel about these things lately. Marriage and starting families. I am behind, I know. I am also left behind. I feel like my friendships are...not disappearing, but like pushed to the backburner, because I am not part of the married or babies club. I don't know if I am sad, I don't know what it is. I guess at this point I need to want someone. I need to want to be paired up, to be connected to someone else. I am not asking to get married, I just need to want companionship. I need to stop being so hard headed and accept that I need to want more. I need to stop hiding behind the planning of my career and my office.

Somebody will make this better for me. One day. In the meantime... damn. I don't have any "meantime" plans.

In the meantime, I'll just keep working.

9:28 p.m. - 2012-06-17

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