silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blah blah the usual Tonight is date #3 with the new guy. Dinner and a movie...I suppose magic mike is not his first choice, so I recommended Prometheus. We shall see. I am also trying to meet up at my coworker's house for a party at 6; a brief hello cameo for a welcome to Vegas party for her fianc� who just moved here. I by chance met him Thursday night at a lecture, and he looked like he really wanted people to come who he might have the slightest in common with. He doesn't know anybody aside from his fianc�, he doesn't know Vegas of course. And he met me for about 20 minutes and latched on. I could sense his discomfort. Plus he was super super formal with me too, it was cute, but I wanted to shake him to loosen him up. He just graduated d school from somewhere east, and is in the process of getting his license. He kept calling me "dr", but I kept correcting him to call me by my first name. His awkwardness was cute. Oh..this isn't about him. Right right, the date guy. So yeah.. I'm going to that party for a quick hello, but then I have to zoom out at some point to meet up with this guy. He texted me asking if he could pick me up this time, or me go to his place, so we could roll wherever together, "like a real date", which DESTROYS my independence and comfort in riding solo wherever I go. I am so used to just me taking me where I want to be, and me leaving from where I am whenever I want to go. When someone else drives, I am stuck with that person. For extra time. All the travel time... Now granted, one shouldn't think of it as "stuck"... more like "fortunate to spend more time" with... I don't know. I wish I felt butterflies. I wish I felt excitement. I feel like I am trying to justify my hanging out with him, trying to convince myself that I will fall head over heels for this guy in due time. I do want to feel excitement for someone, I would like it to kick in sooner than later. I am not convinced that I am going to like him at all. I tell myself that he is nice, that he is cute enough, and that I should be happy that he actually likes me. He has some genuine interest in me, and I haven't even slept with him. Ugh I don't know. I don't think we will progress much. I wish I weren't so damn lovable! Hahaha... But seriously, he tells me how fascinated he is by me, he showed his mom pics of me, he told her that I am the most intelligent person he has ever gone out with. He is impressed and intrigued by my drive and goals, he says I am a "saint" or an "angel" for my participation in the nonprofit and community service stuff (as it apparently makes me look online..wtf?), but I try to clarify that it is just what my office does, it is not my big donation to the world. Whatever. Point is, I don't know if I'm developing any interest in him, and if I am not, I'd rather throw in the towel now before he likes me more, which is bound to happen. Because I am so damn lovable. I got a text this evening from a guy I used to work with as an assistant, in an office maybe 8 years ago. We were both in undergrad too, I think we might've even had a class together. We were dental bound, except maybe I was more serious about it. Over the years, we would randomly bump into eachother at the Starbucks across the street from the university, so maybe like once every two years since like 2003 I would see him. And now just the random texts. So he said hey what's up, blah blah. We chatted a bit, and then he came and picked me up and we went to eat, at like 10, which I kinda didn't want to because I like to be a bum, but I let it be. Now, we were both on the same track basically. He was maybe a year behind me in school, he is I think one or two years younger than me. He took the entrance exam probably 5 years ago, but didn't rock it. So he has been wanting to retake it. The DAT, like the MCAT, but for dental nerds. Sooo... every time I talk to him, he is still studying for the test. A couple times he even has a tentative date scheduled. The test is maybe $200, I don't remember because it was so damn long ago! I took it maybe 2004 or 2005, and then went straight into my school applications. I remember how hard I studied for that test, I can see my textbooks and paperwork strewn all over the dining room table, the late nights, early mornings. Headaches and coffee...just like dental school. The test was 4 hours long, and they printed out the results right there after you submitted it. I was tired, I had a headache, my eyes were sore, I was thirsty. And there was very minimal satisfaction with that immediate test result printout, because I didn't rock it. I just wanted to sleep. But you know what? It was enough to get in. I had some solid scores, a couple weak ones. I chose the schools that I applied to wisely, partially based on what they were looking for in an applicant. Anyways...I take forever to get to my points. My point is, and my view/opinion is, take the damn test already and apply dammit! That test is NOTHING in the long run of all the rest of the crap we have to do when you are actually IN d school. He is full of excuses. He finished his bachelors degree forever ago. He said that he has taken every biology class that they offer. Sooo just do it! Seriously! And now, he doesn't work, hasn't had a job outside of the university for years. Within the university, it's like random stuff for the science departments. I forget what his parents do, but I believe they have money, so he lives with them still. So his lazy ass doesn't work, is waaaay done with college, and is too chicken shit to take a test that will get the ball rolling for the rest of his life. You can't study for 6 years. Eventually you have to just do it. I think for myself, it was intense studying for 6 months prior to the test itself, at the same time working and attending classes full time and taking tests for those classes! And I lived with my ex back then, so I had some lame social life I was trying to maintain as well. Yet I made it happen, but not like it was hard to manage. Yeah, the test sucked, I hated it. But it was a step. So this guy has everything lined up. He even has communication with the d school here, does outreach stuff with the pre-dental students. He would have a solid application, I told him so. So now he says August he will do the test. Last year he told me the previous August or july. He is going to be like 35 when he gets into school. Not that age matters, but honestly, what have you been doing since you first tried to get in? I keep telling him and encouraging him to make the jump. My words disappear though I guess. Anyways. Blah blah date tonight. I am sure it will go well, I feel fine around the guy. He doesn't excite me though. Maybe tonight I will gain more interest in him. Also, for him, he doesn't do stuff during the week, just work, because he is too tired etc to hang out. If I get into a relationship with anybody, I want to actually see the person more than once a week, I think. Okay. Enough babble. Gotta figure out the day. 8:24 a.m. - 2012-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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