silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grr Bleh. I don't know what I feel anymore, about several things. I just want to breathe. I don't think I can do that these days, I don't know why. I also feel as if I have become a version of myself that disturbs me. Whoever that is. That person is also too cutesy and emotional for me. I need to shut her down soon. I tell DW that I care about him. I tell him that my life is better with him in it. I give him affection, more than I am comfortable giving. I am adoring and endearing and complimentary and just overall super affectionate. But it isn't enough for him, for some reason. He needs to know everything. EVERYTHING. Apparently he has been emotionally deprived and people haven't given him all of this affection that he desires. I give it to him, but he needs now something more mental. He needs to know what in my past has made me the way that I am. And he won't let up. Hence our arguments that he claims are just "discussions" drive me insane and keep him calm, and makes me pissy and upset and he's like "wtf I'm just trying to get to know you". I roll my eyes and try to suffocate myself with his pillows. I tell him everything that happens with my day. How I am feeling, what I am doing. It isn't enough. I tell him how I feel towards him, and I say that the way things are with him are great and I haven't felt this way with anyone (available) before. He says that's great...but then that it still isn't enough. I ask what more does he want me to say? I can't get an answer out of him, at least nothing direct. He doesn't know what he wants me to say. He just stares at me in wait. Asshole. But I think I love him..maybe. Or I've just spent so much time with him that I just think that I do. And I feel like that is what he wants me to tell him. Fucker. 7:18 p.m. - 2012-09-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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