silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Final chapter Well, that's done. Broke up this morning. Am I sad? Yes. End of the world? No...but certainly feels like it. Did I manage to do my damn job today without crying? Yep. It was a long time coming. I told him the whole situation is basically stupid; he says that he just can't give me what I need, which is time. Fine. Did I freak out? You bet. Irrational, delusional? Yeppers. Do I regret the things I said? Not at all. I wasn't mean. I told him that it was wrong and that we are good together and we just need to actually be with one another. I said we should talk in person. This text stuff is bullshit. He needs time to think. Stfu asshole, you had all fuckin weekend to "think", you know damn well what you are doing, and he should know that he is making a huge mistake. Yes, we all think we are the shit, but honestly, I am a HUGE step up from his druggie clingy exes. Educated, successful-ish, smart, loved, desired, hot (I'm allowed to have an ego dammit), and everybody fuckin loves me. And he is missing out, because my heart is hardening every passing hour towards him. At this point, I don't care. But yes, I care. I love the fuckin idiot. All he has to do is acknowledge me. Don't say you fuckin love me, don't hand me that shit. Don't say "you deserve" blah blah blah. I don't care. You need to think, asshole? Think away. Take all the time you want. But the decision has been made, you have played your cards. I told him no, that it is a stupid reason to break up, and I don't accept it. I really don't. But I will. And I believe fully, that he will never be able to have a successful relationship if he doesn't give time to the girl and center his damn priorities. I hope he goes back to his druggie exes. I am so much better than him. I know my faults. I know my weaknesses. I can love somebody without being judgy. I give my heart, 1000%, and if the guy is good to me, I will be loving and faithful forever. I am a good person. I have a good head on my shoulders and a good heart, and this is just bullshit. So on to the next one. Yes, I sound pissed because I am. It is ridiculous. How hard is it to make time to see the person you claim you love? I don't enter relationships lightly. But it's all good. I don't regret a single moment that I had. Funny coincidence: apparently R just broke up with his gf of approximately the same time too, yesterday. No, I don't care about him that way anymore. I think it's cute how our situations align. Alright, headed over to a friend's house for a BBQ. I think I am done crying for the day. She said they have hot dogs and ice cream. I'm not on my period, but I think that is just about exactly what I need right now. Everything happens for a reason. It just sucks when you think you have found the person that is the missing piece to your puzzle. Apparently the puzzle was a bit more complicated. Such is life. Actually, no. I don't think I'm done crying for the day. But it's okay. :) And don't worry, I deleted his texts and his phone number, and I never memorized his number. So there you go. The end. 6:04 p.m. - 2013-03-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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