silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Null You know how sometimes you have those days. Things went fine today. Ran around, worked my ass off. Totally exhausted after work. Made decent money today so at least that rocked. It wasn't a bad day. This project is draining away all the money that I had stashed. I use the word "all" lightly, as it wasn't much. But I tried to save for this, and for taxes, and I am pretty screwed right now. Well, I can take care of myself. I can pay my basic bills and I can still eat. No need to drop my wine addiction. But I can't splurge by any means, not like I do that in the first place. I hope for all paychecks to come swiftly so I have the funds to pay off the next round. Lawyer, architect. Contractors, dealers. I should just give them open access to my bank account. My mind is in several places. I want several things. I want certain people to play a bigger role in my life, and others to play a lesser role. I step back from the online guys, because I just do not have the energy to follow through. It is not their faults at all, but I just get annoyed when some of them message me. I feel like I don't want to deal with it. My friend AV has a guy friend who has had an on and off interest in me for the last 12 years that I have known the two of them. He is a nice guy, but I just have never clicked with him romantically. He's just nice and polite. I have no attraction to him, but she wants me to go on a date with him at some point, claiming that she thinks we would hit it off. He asked her to see if I would go on a date with him. Ugh. Sometimes you know when someone is just friend material and when you have a glimmer of hope for something more. And when there's absolutely nothing at all. I need to focus on only the project. I just can't think about wanting to be dating again. Blah blah blah. I can't wait to see the new Gatsby movie. I love that story. What is all of this, really? What is it? What does it mean, and what could it mean? I am not searching for an answer 9:01 p.m. - 2013-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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