silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Weekend?

I am just so tired. I woke up around 3 am, and tried to count myself to sleep, then took a sleeping pill, then gave up and started reading my book club book with hopes that it would help me sleep, and of course to try to finish it before the meeting later on tonight. It's a quick and easy read, but there is only so much one can accomplish at a time. I put down the book and instead I am now here, in bed, awaiting my alarm to go off in a few minutes, so I can get ready for my long 6 am drive to work.

I am tired of the 3 am wake up curse. I should've taken the sleeping pills earlier, but I had drank a bit, and I aim not to mix too much. I know, I know. Stop drinking, blah blah, exercise more, yeah, I know. I had went to a dinner meeting with my supply reps, we has sushi and drinks, the restaurant was clear across town. I didn't get home till almost 11. But the rep guy had driven into town from Arizona and he couldn't meet tomorrow, so tonight it was.

The whole day was busy and exhausting. I got up maybe around 7, no alarm, just my body ready for action. Actually, I had woken earlier, but I was able to pill it out and get a few more hours. Anyways, I made a list of things to do for Thursday, some of which was accomplished, so I am happy, but other stuff, ugh. I'm just so tired right now, in multiple ways. But I signed my contract with the building contractor, so they are about to submit the plans to the county. That meeting was also clear across town...but whatever. I ordered some stuff, made some calls, made tons of emails. One equipment company, another, the bank, the contractor, the architect. And as I sat in Starbucks trying to get things done, with all my crap sprawled across the table, some guy finds it to be a great time to chat with me and state the obvious: "you look like you're pretty busy!" No shit. And eyes perusing my things and trying to flirt and then talking about whatever legal business he is involved in and how he can help me and blah blah blah. Then he eventually goes away, then tries to get my attention again in offering to buy me a drink, while I clearly have an iced drink beside me, in the clear cup, and the drink is red, so you clearly cannot miss it's existence beside me. I politely decline. Then minutes later, a colleague of him comes in and they are chummy and chatty, the guy nods at me, and shortly after, his similarly-attired friend basically does the same thing: "oh, you look like you are working hard!" Seriously? Your coworker didn't tell you that I am an unattainable sell? Leave me be. Please. So I finish up my work there prematurely, then take my sister to see the office, we go to the grocery store, I go home and do some more work, and then go off to the dinner meeting.

Ugh. My 4:45 alarm went off. I'll get up soon.

I am also super sniffly and stuffed up, I assume because I am in need of rest.

So after work, I have to run to pick something up for Saturday morning, then get some wings for the book club meeting at 8. I don't think I'll finish the book but I will bring it with me to work anyways just in case there is down time. Then I sit there and socialize tonight, which is fine and fun, but honestly, with the project, I just want some alone time. I work hard on it, and work itself, throughout the week. If I can get some hours to just do nothing, all by myself, clear my mind now that the plans are off to permit-land, I would be happy. Then Saturday morning is the badass dash 7K, which I know will be fun, but is also going to be maybe a 5+ hour obligation, including the gathering of friends before as well as after, the attempt to escape to my car, the packed parking lot, settling to grab food there, blah blah. But after that, I will be free. And I will go home right after and quite possibly turn off my phone, shower, and shut down.

There goes the 5:00 alarm. Considering I aim to leave here at 5:30, I should probably get up.

I feel like I am losing weight, not that I am overweight at all, but I feel like I look smaller, and I haven't been working out. I eat like a pig, but I think it is the need of sleep and a good reboot. I am wearing myself out as I power through this project. I settle myself down to do one thing, and I get pulled into another. Or I get a phone call from a project person. Or I have to this..or that.. And my shoulder is acting up again, just in time for the obstacle course mud run. I already plan on having my ice pack, arm sling, and pain pills in the car for when I'm done with the race, because I am almost guaranteed to be feeling beat up in the arm by the end. I know it will be fun. I am excited, I just... I need a moment, you know?

Alright. Time to make coffee and rock through another day. I don't plan on drinking tonight. Those book club girls better have some water. And I never turn down drinks during social events. I just want to show up, function, and go home. I know it is going to be a long night, and I believe we will be arriving at the race site around 7. Some of the book club girls are also participating in the run, so it will be a good combination of Friday/Saturday adventures together.

But first I must get through Friday. 5:10. Coffee.

4:34 a.m. - 2013-05-24

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