silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Flames

It is almost midnight. I should be sleeping. Lately I have been crashing a mere two hours after I get home from work. It is wonderful yet difficult at the same time, because, as I desire and appreciate the rest, I still have business to tend to. My body is exhausted though. And still sore from the bug bites a couple weekends ago. My dumbass has been scratching at them like crazy, and now I have this ridiculously large bruising everywhere (good thing I am black, it's hard to tell!), and it doesn't seem to want to heal now. Rather, it is now just pissed off at me and takes its dear sweet time to pan over. The ones on my arms and legs I scratch like crazy. The ones on my back aren't very easily accessible, but when I get to them, I go to town. I try my hardest to avoid those, because then they flare up, and then it hurts to wear anything on my top- shirts, bras, whatever- because of how it rests against my skin. Sigh. I started placing my ice pack that I bought for my shoulder, and compressing it against select areas. That helps squash the itching, and the compression seems to help the inflammation as well. Hopefully just a couple more days of this nonsense.

I am almost done with this large ass book. By "almost" I mean 400 pages left. But actually it goes fast when I am not falling asleep. I should definitely get it done on the plane this weekend.

Vegas is going crazy with fires over the last week, in the mountains. I got a beautiful picture of the sun setting through the clouds of smoke. The sun had a gorgeous red glow. I posted it on fb. I am lame and should just figure out how to post pics on this site already. Me talking about a sunset ablaze doesn't give it justice. But yes, the fires are striking but sad, because they are destroying homes and displacing lives. I should get a closer image tomorrow; I drive out near the mountains for my Tuesday job. Shouldn't affect it hopefully.

I found out this afternoon that a guy from my HS committed suicide last night. CW told me, as I was once again reaching for his attention/affection in a casual yet pathetic fashion. I didn't really know the guy in recent years, but I do remember his face from HS. I am certain I haven't seen him since graduation. It is sad and disheartening. I hate when people resort to that. There are so many wonderful things in life, aside from all of the stressors and negativity and heart break. We all bring light to someone's life, whether we know it or not. There are so many beautiful things and places and people and situations to experience. Music, food, art, literature. But when it feels like rock bottom, how can you convince someone otherwise? Who am I to tell you that your life is valuable and you are loved? I am a nobody to more people than I am a somebody. I am just another dot in this vast world.

Blah work. I am so lazy these days.

I know I tell myself to not pursue CW anymore. I am somewhat following that. Still want to stay on his radar.

Getting sleepy now. Bedtime. More eventually. Good night

11:57 p.m. - 2013-07-08

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