silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Saturday adventures Yesterday's recap: 5:45ish a.m. I grumble and growl but roll my tush out of bed and into the kitchen to make some coffee. Sprinkler Sprint day!! I semi pull some stuff together on me and quickly remember why I had set my alarm for a bit earlier (wanted to take a shower), but thought meh, I'll be running through sprinklers soon enough. I call CW at 6:00 to give him a wake up call. Him: "hello??" Me: "good mooorniiiing!" Him: "ah..is that what it is??" We hang up after maybe 2 more non-sentences, and I get ready for the run. I had made 8 shirts for our crew, each one a different color so we could be a rainbow, and I put glitter and sparkles and tinsel and puff paint all over them to make them tacky yet wonderful. They loved the shirts or at least pretended to for sake of the group. It was seven girls altogether and then CW. A couple of the girls I had prompted with the information that I am absolutely (controllably) enamored with him. We all had a blast, the run was fun, it needed more sprinklers though (umm Vegas is hot, come on organizers, cool us off a bit), but overall fun, and CW says he wants to do more. We all went to breakfast afterwards, CW included. He tagged along for a long time much to my surprise. It was my basic girls and three girls from my office in the city over the mountain. Those girls were such troopers, they had so much fun with my friends too, and I think they see me in a new light. To them, I am the doctor at their office, but they know I am dorky and silly and weird and make costumes. So in spending time with me to do goofy non work-related things in which nobody is in serious mode was awesome. I personally want to feel like everyone is my friend, not a coworker. We were already all cool, but I think this pushed us past that threshold, in a comfortable way. After breakfast, we dropped CW off at his place and I led the way for those three girls to follow me to my new office so they could see my place in mid-construction. It's right on the road they take to go back over the mountain, like not even 5 minutes of a detour for their route. They were so happy and excited as I explained the place, as messy as it is. I flailed my arms around and said what each room was and where this will be and where that will be. It was great. We part ways, I go home and shower, try to nap, think about CW, text with one of the girls about my undying infatuation with him (controlled), and say how I can accept friendship if I have to, but I'd rather not. She tells me to grow some balls basically and tell him how I feel. I don't tell her that we kinda messed around before and that that was unsuccessful, because she is a very pure person who doesn't know my ways with guys yet. If she knew how light I am with my sexuality and interests, she wouldn't like it. I already know, our friend AV also warned me to ease her into it. She would basically think I am a whore, which is such a harsh way to put it, but I would be subject to such harsh judgment that I am not in the mood for. So I will ease her into my "history" and my "ways". Anyways, I had told her that I was seeing CW later in the night again with his friends to do dinner and see a movie, and she yelled at me to tell him how I felt. Ahh that would have been nice...but after the movie we all parted ways and were parked in different areas. I also told her that for all I know, he is dating around, and I don't want to rock a good friendship. I hate when people put crap in my head about sharing my feelings and all that nonsense. My (controlled) adoration and (controlled) obsession with him is in check right now. I can go either way. He can tell me that he is dating someone, and I can say cool, and drop the control from the parentheses and switch the enamor/infatuation/adoration/obsession out to lame acceptable friendship. Or he can tell me that he too wants to drop the silly parentheses and see if we can start something. The latter is the preferred option, but, you know, my interest is controlled, so I won't lose any sleep over this. So we went to dinner and saw Elysium, which was pretty cool except for the parts where I kinda passed out. Hey, it was a long day, and my attempt at a nap was foiled by my body's resistance to sleep. I had had my eye mask on and everything, but nope. Body didn't want to clock out until around 10:30 pm in the theater. I sat by him of course, since I didn't really know his friends until that evening, and I (controllably) enjoyed the scent of his existence in my proximity. Controllably. Sometime during the movie I get a text from my friend LH who has some girls in town celebrating their birthdays, telling me to come out at midnight to the club. Movie ends just around 11:30 or so, I go home, change, head to the club and meet up with the girls around 12:30 and enjoy comped vodka for the night. It's great to never have to pay. I walked up past the line, told some guy I wanted to see Dave, Dave grabbed me and brought me past everyone and led me to the table. Sometimes it's great to feel like a star. I find the girls and we get straight to business as I am offered a series of shots for the remainder of the night. I am quickly chatted up by a group of guys at a neighboring table who are in for a bachelor party, and want me to dance for the groom. Nice try, buddy. I say I am there to hang with my friends, maybe later. This was literally within five minutes of finding the girls, this guy tries to shuffle me away and talk to me. I am polite and charming, but I say hey I just got here and my friends are celebrating birthdays, so gotta go. The guy was cool, he comes back every now and then, and I'm nice and all but shit. Then his lurking drunk friend starts trying to talk to one of the girls and she is not feeling it at all, so I get in the way and take one for the team. She screams "thank you for saving me!!" and I let him talk to me, and soon realize that I too could go for some salvation. The guy just rambles and latches on to me, tries to hold on me and stuff. I let him fumble, he doesn't do anything inappropriate, and the girls are happily dancing in peace away from him. But he is faded and he doesn't understand no when it is said to him. After annoying me enough, he tells me to come dance with him on the floor. I say nope, dancing with my girls. He insists. I lie and say I have a boyfriend. He continues to try, but eventually backs off, temporarily. I am sitting at some point and he sits by me and puts his arm around me. I say hey, I told you I have a boyfriend, he wouldn't be cool with this, I think you should go back to your friends. He mumbles something about not being concerned with the boyfriend, and I say too bad, you need to get up now and go away. I said it polite a few times, I don't get bitchy usually. But he was hard headed, so I flipped it up and turned on the other version of me that snaps the neck, and said GET UP NOW AND GO TO YOUR FRIENDS. I wasn't trying to be mean, but he was really drunk and incoherent and needed guidance. Once he leaves, he passes out in his booth, and security eventually comes to take him away. He comes back maybe twenty minutes later, much to my dissatisfaction. The girls ask me to step in again when he bothers them. I love being bodyguard/bouncer, it's fun! I was texting with CW a bit throughout when I was there, but eventually I stopped because frankly I was getting drunk and didn't want to embarrass myself. I got home right at 4 a.m. and fell asleep eventually...after buying del taco of course. I assume or simply hope that I will sleep soundly for a long time since I had been up almost 24 hours, but nope. Woke up around 7:00! I laughed and considered taking a sleeping pill, but instead decided to write about my day here. I fear this is very long. I don't expect anyone to read all of this; if anything it is for me to recall one day. I had told my girl CH that I went to the movies with CW and his friends, and ever the optimist she is, she told me it was a date. It really wasn't, he just sent a group of us a message on fb that he was going with some friends to dinner and Elysium and said we could join if we wanted to, so I tagged along. Wish it were more romantic than that. I will be going to his place tonight though for our Sunday night gathering. There, I will (controllably) gaze at him longingly, on the inside. On the outside, I will be typical me, sarcastic and nutty. We shall watch tv or movies and cook something delightful or order pizza. Hang for a few hours then part ways, and I shall pine for him in the car on my drive home. (Controllably) 8:00 a.m. - 2013-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||