silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The usual hijinks I could really use some advice from the universe. Except the universe doesn't tend to respond, at least not in a way obvious enough for me to note. I have definitely had an interesting weekend with the men in my world. I have managed to piss off the guy CA who I have otherwise been hooking up with, while at the same time gaining ground with CW, although minimally. The overall scenario played out initially as I expected for some reason. I knew it was going to happen at first. The beginning was fine, but I knew there would be consequence. So. Friday night I text CA and say hey, what are you up to this weekend, do you want to maybe hang out? Hang out means hook up. I haven't seen him in over a month. Remember, there are no feelings there, just action. He replies "we'll see" and basically leaves it at that. Saturday night I go to dinner with a guy friend, and CA texts me towards the end, asking if I'm going to a mutual friend's birthday celebration downtown that night. I say I wasn't invited, but I ask where and when, and say sure see you there. I pull myself together, I show up, I say hi to him and all our other friends. And this is where I change the deck: I check in to the bar on fb, and say "dejavu", because I had went to that bar Friday night as well. Innocent check in, right? Well CW lives downtown. He had checked in to a restaurant/bar right next door to my bar maybe half an hour earlier. In my head, I knew that when I checked in to the place, CW would see it, and he would come over to where I am and it would screw up CA's plans, because naturally I prefer to be with CW. Well yes, that is exactly what happened. Not even five minutes. First some other friend JM who was two bars down texted me and said hey I'm heading over, so I went out to meet him. I'm giving him a hug and we are going through the doors, and then I see CW and his friend, and my life just lights up. I give them hugs, they say they saw my check-in and came to see me. The first guy, JM, also went to high school with me and CW, so they did the cordial chit chat thing. We all go in, hang out, grab drinks. There are now maybe ten people I know there, spread out in groups, so I try to mingle with everyone a little. However, those three people came by to hang with me, and it was more entertaining with them than CA since he doesn't say much. He just looks at me a lot and says some little things that are seemingly clever quips of conversation, but never really like a full conversation. So I talk to the other guys more. We wander around. Downtown has a collection of bars to check out, so we kinda bounced around other spots in the vicinity. CA asks me where I am, I tell him, and he comes around semi possessive, drunk of course. Not cool. I pull him into the conversation and keep it light all around, but he's just looking at me like I need to get up and leave with him, like I did something wrong? It's kinda funny. Our other friends are getting pizza, so he went back to them. I was having more fun with CW so I stayed with them and we just kept moving around all night until about 5. CA had texted around 2 that someone else was driving him home (so he was otherwise assuming I would take him home, just didn't tell me that at all), and it was a bitter attitudy text, so I replied sorry and that I wasn't trying to be a bitch but I was just hanging with other people too. There were too many people we knew, the group was huge! He was standing around talking to at least five people I didn't know, I didn't give him shit about disregarding me for his real friends. So whatever, I pissed him off because I didn't go home with him. But I did go home with CW, which to me is much more fulfilling since I actually like the guy. Wherein lies my universal inquiry as to what the hell to do about him, because I enjoy being with him and I think he is fascinating, but I don't want to screw up the friendship since I love that as well. Blah. I just need to be forward and aggressive and just tell him that I have already made arrangements for our wedding and and debating upon names for our children. Maybe that will get it across to him and get things moving a little more quickly. I went over there last night for our weekly Sunday dinner, drinks and a show with his friends, and everything was nice and normal. Yawn. But at least we can play around and nothing is awkward afterwards. Always a plus. I will be going to my friends' concert on Thursday night. CA will very likely be there. I must prepare for the backlash for the things I have done, or did not do. I know he will be pissy towards me. If he isn't, I would be quite surprised. So moody. I like the guy, but this is his arrangement. He doesn't want to be like real friends, he doesn't want to be involved with each other. I can't call him up and say hey let's see a movie or something. I will hang out with people who actually want to hang out with me. Life is more fulfilling that way. Blaaaahhh this was too long of an entry. My bad. Ok back to office work I go. Oh! I went yesterday to show the office to my dad and a sister, and all of the painting is done and it is BEAUTIFUL!! I love the colors! I'm so excited to see it all come together. Love it, love it! Now I have a million other things to do still, which is why I am happy I am off of work today and tomorrow. I always say it is crunch time, but every day now is crunch time. Ok. Coffee and then CRUNCH TIME! Actually I should hit the gym...hm.. 8:08 a.m. - 2013-09-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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