silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today I disabled my Ok Cupid account. I am once and for all dropping interest in CW. I met some chick he had been dating in the summer a couple nights ago, and honestly, seeing the type of person who he goes for... I would rather not have any further interest there. He is a good guy, but these girls are antisocial, moody, rude and tacky. Not to place myself leagues above them, but the truth is, I am. And I shouldn't strive to have somebody who can't value a good quality woman. At least be semi sociable. And when I met this one, she gave me such an unwarranted look of disgust... and CW wasn't even there! I was just with VN at the bar and he recognized her, and he was kind and peppy like I am, and tried to engage her in conversation, but that went absolutely nowhere. So I saw her and I just thought, wow. I don't even want to consider anything there. Fortunately, I am currently in a place mentally where I don't have any romantic feelings towards him. I won't let it come back anymore. But I need a distraction. Work only does so much. Maybe I will get back to work on my body. I feel gross and heavy lately, although I know my body is stable and nothing really changes for me. Just want to meet someone new and see what the world has in store for me. VN told me that the guy MS had told him that we hooked up. But the way he said it, it was enough that VN thought we had slept together. He said that I was "in his room [that] night" and that he "didn't know where we stand now", as if we legitimately hooked up and that there was more to it. I was like ummm noooo, he kissed me, that was it. And that he freaked out about me being in his room. So I was happy that VN asked me about it, because I would hate for people to assume I did something that I didn't do. I would admit to my (admittable) actions all day, but I will vehemently defend myself against any lie about me. So that was good to know, I suppose. I told VN that yea, sometimes I get drunk and kiss people. He told me he understood, and that he remembers when he, CW, and I went out a few months ago, and he and I kissed, and then I kissed CW. I....don't remember kissing VN... but cool! Also good to know! Perhaps I get around more than I thought I did. I mean... I already knew most of what I did, but apparently there is more. Meh. It's all in good fun. The friends still love me all the same. Nobody freaks out about it, at least most of them don't. Evidently MS and CA are fools. I know it's a little late into the new year now, but I will make a solid effort to not tolerate the fools. Nor attract them. Must be wise and selective at some point. Bleh. I think I will sign up on tinder. Maybe worth a shot. I just hate all the work this takes. I told one of my friends that I will just get a bunch of cats already. That should work. 8:03 p.m. - 2014-01-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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