silver4's Diaryland Diary

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February

I haven't had much to say. Nothing really going on. Guess it has been two weeks since I've written in here. It is all the same.

Noteworthy (or just noted nevertheless):
- ran a 5K color run yesterday, that was good. First time running one straight through and not letting my brain get the best of me. I've been running on the treadmill a few times during the week, running thirty minutes straight and not letting my mind take over. I have been succeeding there
- bought tickets for Tool, they are coming here next month...actually in like three weeks! Awesome
- bought tickets for Guns n Roses, they are doing a farewell residency here in the spring, then supposedly they are putting away the band once and for all. Should be interesting to see, I've never seen them in concert, nor have I eagerly wanted to, but hey why not ?
- must lose weight. Feeling chunky. I know I'm not chunky or fat or whatever. Still want to lose weight though. This might sound crazy, but it's my personal desire. I want to drop twenty pounds. I'm over this extra crap I have put on in d school. I have been steady this weight since I graduated, and I'm over it. I can and I will lose the weight.
- my friends are doing a half marathon in May. They told me today that I should tag along. They are absolutely right. So now I'm going to train for endurance running. Every week I will be upping the time I run on the treadmill, along with the pace. Mind over matter. As long as I control the pace and get my mind in check, I find that I can do it. I just scare myself into stopping to catch my breath, but it is all mental, I have realized. So I challenged myself, because I would run like five minutes and say oh no I can't keep this up, let me alternate this with walking. Then I walk too long, then I run less than five, then walk, etc. So the next day I thought, no. Run thirty. Shut up, and run thirty. NO. RUN THIRTY. And I run fifteen, and I think no, I'll catch my breath after this song is done, then I say NO! RUN THIRTY! Then I make it to twenty and I think ok I can pause here, this is good enough, I know I said thirty but I'm getting tired...then I yell again (inside my head of course) NO DAMMIT YOU RUN THIRTY!! And lo and behold, what do you know, I run thirty.
- I have new neighbors upstairs. The last week, they have been playing loud music with insane bass all hours of the day and night. At first I brushed it off as hey they just moved in, maybe they threw a little weekend party, no big deal. But then Monday rolled around and it continued.. And Tuesday, and Wednesday... And it would wake me, I was getting irritable. I didn't want to go up there and say hey stop this please, and chance them retaliating and being louder. So I went to management and said I had a noise complaint, so hopefully it was just a general notice they put forth to the neighbor, but I had went on Friday morning, and I had a peaceful evening last night, and so far today has been peaceful. I really hope it stays this way. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is. But I was really starting to lose it. Seriously people! It's a freakin apartment! Be mindful of your neighbors! And you are supposedly adults, turn down the shitty bass crap music!!
- back on online dating, back to pof. Haven't replied to any messages. I don't know, lazy, not feeling flirty. I have fun with my crews, I enjoy my friends. Great people and all, but I'm in my thirties; I don't want to be in this scene forever. I thought I would be done with the bars and clubs by this time. But alas I am not. It is fun, but I only go and socialize with my friends and waste money and drink. What is the point? Maybe next weekend I will stay in instead. Or actually respond to some of these messages and go on a date. That would be something, ha.

I just remembered, I had a horrible dream last night that I was pregnant, just about three months. Horrible because I didn't know who the father was, or I had an idea but wasn't certain. And some guy became very angry towards me about it, I believe because we were trying to work on something together.. I'm not certain. I realize that whenever I have pregnant dreams, I never know who the father is. Not that I am sleeping around in real life or even in my dreams. Hm. That was sad. I was crying, hurt and conflicted. It was a tough dream to have, there was a lot of detail to it and strange emotions to deal with in all the confusion and the anger from the guy, whoever he was.

Anyways, it is morning now. I suppose that means that I should go for a run. I have some team workout a good 25 miles across town at 12. That's a nice drive.

Meh, that's it. That should suffice until I have something worthwhile to say again, or if a thought comes forth.

Alrighty then. Coffee.

7:47 a.m. - 2014-02-23

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