silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Amor

So there's this music/food/arts festival coming back to town at the end of October, called the Life is Beautiful festival. It was pretty awesome last year, and so my crew all bought tickets ($200 :( ). It is a 3 day festival, and the lineup is pretty sweet, to an extent. The personally higher desired acts are foo fighters, panic! at the disco, arctic monkeys, outkast, fitz and the tantrums, neon trees...etc. The undesired act to me is Kanye. I don't mind him, I have a lot of his music. But I really have no interest in seeing him perform. I actually anticipate him acting a fool. Besides that, there are a lot of food network chefs who show up and you can grab their food, and lots of activities. I'm excited. There's actually a lineup announcement party tomorrow night that a chunk of us from the crew will be attending. Midweek party? Meh, sure. I told the team to anticipate me being a little bleh Thursday morning.

I am avoiding that which I burn to discuss. I thought I was good but I am falling again. Hard. He's going to break me. I know exactly what I am supposed to do. I simply... do not want to. As ridiculous as it is, I want to spend time with him. I enjoy when he calls me on the phone. I enjoy the early morning or late night texts. He makes me smile. I want to smile. It is an undeserved smile, but a smile nonetheless.

It would be better if someone like CA would come around and steal my heart. That would help.

Let us hope that CA shapes up and pulls me out of this. Actually, it really would help if I could just hook up with him this weekend. The other one will be out of town, and it would work out beautifully for my sanity. A silly goal to have, but...meh.

Mission accepted.

7:40 p.m. - 2014-06-24

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