silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Positives and no negatives

The good:
- I am not sad about MG right now. Messages between us are staying light. When he says stupid stuff about his love for me, I am just going to take it as...well, nothing. Empty words. I just won't take his words to heart. That's what fucks me up. Brush it aside. He sent me a snap telling me how awesome I am...I assume since I was just like fuck it, I'm good, don't worry about me and my feelings for you, I get it, do your thing, I'll talk to you whenever. I just needed a reality check. Again. I'm sure I will need another reality check later. I can't help the way I feel, but I can stifle it.
- JH is still a work in progress. He makes me smile. I'm not sure what is to come of that, but I will let our friendship blossom into whatever it wants to become
- I started talking to someone on pof. Cute guy. Doesn't know my job yet. I hate telling people what I do. Then come the stupid internet searches/stalking. I just barely told him my name (first only, although as from past experiences, it takes two seconds for someone to figure out my last name and everything else once they know what I do). I'm down to meet the guy if he wants to. That is still all tbd.
- today was the first day without the lazy employee. It was actually an awesome day. I really love what I do. I know that it is a big stress and a lot of work and a lot of hustling and sacrifice to get to that magical end point, but I feel like I can make it. It takes some work, possibly a lot of work...incessant work, but it's great. I went to a sandwich shop after work, not super close to my office at all, but I had my scrubs on with my office logo. The cashier asked me if that was the one on blah blah street, and I said yes. She said she was just looking me up the other day and was going to call! So we chatted a bit and she told me her drama, but it was awesome because my damn name is getting out there, and people like me. People like me, and they are telling their friends, and they are posting things online, and it feels good. I know I'm not the shit and I have a lot to learn and a lot to grow from, but it is all progress. One year down.

I guess I only had good to write about. I'm not sad right now. I will be lame about MG again soon enough, but for now, I am simply happy.

5:44 p.m. - 2014-10-20

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