silver4's Diaryland Diary

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The new one

Things are weird, and then they are good. And then they are weird again, but then they are good again. I do smart things, then I do stupid things, then I do smart things again. Then i do stupid things again.

Met up with some of the boys tonight for a concert. JH was there, gave me a huge hug when I showed up. I felt special. JA eventually showed up, he hesitates to give me a hug till I yell at him. When he alienates me, it calls attention, idiot. Treat me the same as everyone else. Flirted a bunch with both JH and JA almost equally, to neither of their attention towards one another. I still feel like there is a maybe with JH, but it would take so much work. I got a little close with JA, although I know I should not have. We were talking close to one another, semi private. I know some of our friends were observing, but we kept it PG, or even G I'm sure. He was heading out to leave and asked me to walk him to his car, and I did, and we ended up kissing outside for a bit by his car. I know, I know. Bad move. But for some reason I am good with the torture.

I snuck back in to the venue unnoticed by the team, and then talked to JH again. We hung out, then the two of us went to eat an extremely late breakfast. Talked there for another hour or so, parted ways. He's so sweet and adorable. We might go see a movie together later today, and see another concert together later again.

I do like him, but i fear it is just friendship. Although I am ready to pounce any day now.

I'm sleepy now. To be continued.

3:28 a.m. - 2014-11-08

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