silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friendship I accidentally bumped into CW out last night at a bar downtown. I was out with my coworkers after I had finished up at wedding, and one of the girls I was with had never been downtown and wanted us to show her stuff there. I met up with the girls maybe around 11:30. Well, CW, if we recall, I really liked for a while. We were together a lot and messed around, but it never happened right with us, and I am fine with that. Well, he started dating some girl in August, got engaged around December, and is getting married this weekend. And as much as he and I were cool and did everything together...he kinda wrote me out. Stopped talking to me (which, I get when you get a girlfriend it is like that sometimes), basically little to no communication, and of course, no wedding invitation. What? Weren't we like...peas in a pod? What happened here? I am not sad or mad, it's just like...weren't we cool? He really like swept me under the rug. And I don't really care, i swear, I feel nothing anymore towards him. that's a good year ago that we were extra close. But I was there on weekends and mid week at his place, with other friends and all too. Parties, the fun runs we used to do, lots of things. I don't get it, I really don't. I told RO that I saw him and that it was awkward (he wouldn't really look at me), and he asked if I was okay. I said I'm totally fine, it was just a super weird interaction, and like fifteen seconds that's it. I said congratulations and I was all smiles and what not. And he was just weird as fuck. So, whatever...RO said it was probably because he and I had a "thing" and that's why he felt weird to talk to me, but honestly we barely had anything. I would be there for him to whine to and cry about other girls and give him advice on the dumb women he was dating. Lots of things. We didn't really have a "thing" enough for him to be validly uncomfortable. So...I guess I am done with that friendship? I don't get it. People change and times change. I guess I know who my real friends are. But I didn't do anything wrong, you know? I am not jealous, at all. I swear, I feel no twinge of emotion or sadness or oh I wish it were me, nothing at all. I feel an "oh there's this one friend of mine let me go say hi" but apparently that was too much. Anyways. I am a good friend to have. He dropped that when he got her, and that's the end of it. I always have your back and am there for you. I will console you when you are down and come help you when you are stumbling drunk at the bar. I become close with your friends and family and treat you well. But when you drop me or cross me, I can and will write you off if need be. I don't mean to be a bitch, but if you encourage it, I can make you disappear from my world. So I guess he wants to erase our friendship or our interactions. So...bye? Cool by me. Other than that, the wedding that I was invited to was nice. I had fun, but I was tired in the beginning because of a slight hangover from the previous night. I had a good time at the reception, didn't really dance that much and didn't real drink until almost the very end. It was fun, I stayed super late, well till about 10:30 so I could meet up with the girls. I was out with them until about 2:30. Some guy at a bar got mad at me or weird with me because I wasn't super flirty interested in him. I was polite and chatted, but he said I had an attitude and was being rude. Yet he kept coming back, and when I ordered a drink, he paid for it. Then he went to talk to some girls who I guess were more responsive, so he didn't talk to me anymore. He said that I was being the "gatekeeper" and not being nice to a stranger. Umm...I'm always nice to everyone. Unless they are jerks. I was polite enough for you to keep coming back to me. One of my girls said that he was mad because I wasn't all over him. Well, I'm not going to be. I'm not like that, and there were plenty of other women there who could throw themselves at him. So yes. It was an interesting night overall. I am realizing, this may not entirely be my year. Weird guys, lost friendships, lost relationship things (MG). He is somebody I do miss, and I miss caring about. I miss loving him. My body rejected him though, I had noticed. He had my heart, but whenever we had hooked up together, my body would hurt or sting a lot for days after, whereas I never had that with like CA or whoever. I was also getting a weird bleeding for days after being with him... So I knew that, although we had fun and it was good, I would hurt afterwards every time, so there was no way that could have amounted to anything. Well, that among several other insurmountable reasons. I think like his saliva was tainted or something, or like his enzymes did not mix well with mine. Tmi, sorry. But that is my truth, because he wasn't like huge or anything. Just an almost average sized guy, whatever that is. My body knew he was wrong for me, it was just waiting for my mind and heart to catch up. Interesting how things turn out. There's some very interesting people in this world. And everything happens for a reason, right? 6:29 a.m. - 2015-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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