silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mismatch So I signed up for match (again...i know..why didn't anyone stop me??), and I paid for the three month thing. People are messaging me, and they seem like quality guys... But I am still stuck with the curse of being me. I just don't want to talk to anyone like this! Not that I am above it or anything, I would love to click with someone. But I read the profiles, and the guys seem great and intelligent and successful and kind and all of that...and I'm like ughhhh I don't feeeeel like attempting to impress anybody. I'm not perfect, I'm not trying to pretend to be perfect. I just feel like I am not the one for these great guys. Yes I deserve a wonderful man, but like... I am a damn weirdo, you know? I am intelligent enough, successful enough, pretty enough, fun and carefree and all of that. I can be all the good stuff that people hope for, and you can totally bring me home to meet mom and dad; I have that down. I know that in general yes I am "good enough", but something in the back or the front of my head just says "but you aren't good". Like why am I even trying? I want to meet a cool person, but I hate all the courting bs and intro bs. And I always come across as a friend anyways when it comes down to it. And I don't entirely care. Anyways, sorry to the men out there messaging me. Maybe say hi to me at a concert instead where you can see the real me, not this collection of pictures and words that somewhat describe me. I'm just a dorky dentist who likes to go to concerts, drink, paint my nails, sometimes work out, watch movies, and I have an affinity for cutting my hair on a whim. Don't all start running at once. Aside from that nonsense, I realize that I don't want to quit JA. I have a lot of fun with him. He is a terrible person on the relationship front, but he is a weirdo just like me. Perhaps that is why I can not stay away from him. He is another version of me. A bit worse, with his level of deceit, but otherwise we mesh. I would never date him though. He is quite the liar. I could clearly never date CA either, he is terrible in another way. He and I have more in common than JA and I have, almost every interest is shared, actually, but he's not as happy go lucky as JA. I also selfishly do not want to get into a relationship because I don't want to stop sleeping with my boys. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I think it would be awesome to train for american ninja warrior. Who knows if I would follow through, but I really need something new to look forward to. And I could get into better shape. Oh..after I know what's up with the knee. MRI is tomorrow. If I make it on to next year or any other year's round, that would rock. Life goals... Off to put on a movie, drink some wine and pass out on the couch. Calm down there, men! Don't all come running at once. 10:07 p.m. - 2015-07-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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