silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Napa

Napa was fun, I always have a good time with those girls. Some standard annoyances/nuisances, but overall a great time. I love my friends. I do need to spend more time with them. I can tell you one thing that gets old is when people constantly want to drink, because they never get to do it. Or try to push you to drink more and chug and all that crap. I get that people go wine tasting to get drunk, but some of us just want to go, have a good time, and enjoy some wines, with the ability to function still several hours later. So one of the girls irritated me because she kept trying to push us to hurry our drinks so we could drink more..one of those people who is like "are you babysitting?" stuff like that, and it's like...ugh. But I love my friends. I kept reminding her that it is a wine "tasting", not a wine "pounding". I, personally, don't have to get fucked up to have a good time. My intention was to spend time with my friends, and that doesn't mean drinking all the time. It really bothers me that there are so many people who I know who depend on alcohol, it is such a damn constant, it is a staple in their lives. I enjoy it, don't get me wrong, but this weekend it was like ok yes we are in Napa; that is great. But we also NEVER have a whole weekend trip together, the three of us. The last time was over a decade ago. So why can't we just hang around talking, spending time, communicating, catching up, appreciating one another's company? Why is it nope, rush and drink this so we can drink some more and be stupid and do stupid things? Anyways. I love my friends, I just wish we could all appreciate bonding time without all the excessive alcohol. I sat in the backseat sipping on a lot of water yesterday in between wineries, because I had zero intention of getting fucked up and feeling crappy on the plane. And I snacked on a protein bar and later ate a burger to get some substance inside of me. Then we get to the airport and the one girl said she wanted to go to the bar and get a beer! We went there, I ordered a sprite, and she changed her mind. It was the end of the damn trip. I didn't need any more alcohol. What purpose was it going to serve? It's not like I'm trying to impress anybody. Honestly, I just wanted to go home after a while. I'm not showing off or anything by drinking too much.

Anyways. It was beautiful there, but back to reality. Work, fun fun times. Responsibility. I have a concert Tuesday night, which coincidentally is also a wine tasting event. Great. Juuuust great. I'll have a few tastings, but honestly, it's the middle of the damn week, and I have work the next morning, and I don't function well if I drink too much. So I will most definitely cut myself off early. Kind of have to.

Aside from that, I had some crazy dreams when I was in Napa. Completely separate dreams, involving CA,JA, and MG. Crazy. Drama of the relationships, information getting out that I didn't want anyone to know about, crazy personal stuff. Had me thinking for sure. So my goal? Leave all crazy situations behind. Wash my hands of these guys and push forward. They aren't good for me. I know that, I just won't acknowledge it. I hold on to hope for too long. Time to cut that out.

And Tool is coming to concert, it looks like I will be headed back out to SF next month...on a Wednesday. Why do I let people convince me to do this? Terrible. Oh well. It will be fun. But a mid-week flight and clearing the schedule..whatever. I never do stuff like that for myself, I can be selfish for once.

Alright. Time to get ready for work. Have a lovely day!

7:21 a.m. - 2015-12-14

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