silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heat I know I am a bit of an idiot for this, but my affections still belong to CA. And he does nothing to deserve it. JA actively pursues my attention. I have patients who tell me they want to date me. I drunkenly made out with a 22 year old last weekend who chased me to my car. One of my friends has been dropping weird allusions about kissing me, and is getting a little more familiar with me than he should. Yet my dumb ass just faithfully lingers as if something will actually happen one day. I talk to him, even about something pointless and minute, and my affections soar. I need to stop this somehow and find a distraction. Anyways. I'm looking for a house now. I'm pissed because I was given some misguided information regarding getting a mortgage loan, which kept me away from my goals, thinking it was more unattainable than it apparently is. I got that squared away though, and I am figuring everything out. So I am on a mission now. And today is my birthday. I've been telling people that I turned 40. Some people accept it, others are wiser and have called me out. I'm 34 by the way. Work is fine. Steady. Making a little money here and there. Not closing any time soon. MG texted me for birthday today. He asked what I was doing and I said nothing. Just visited my parents. He told me that I should join him and his daughters on a hiking trip. I told him that I couldn't because I did have a couple things going on, said I would rain check it. He said that the girls would love to have a new hiking buddy. Why would he invite me? He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. It makes me lean towards feeling something, and that's not cool. And he is the type of person who takes pictures of everything. There can't be pictures of us hanging out. He already said that he believes the ex-wife knows something about me. Let's fuel her suspicions, yeah? I should've just slept with the 22 year old. I would have. But that's dumb. So I didn't. That's about it. I guess I'll check back in soon. And I will still be emotionally drawn towards the wrong person. Lovely. 8:58 p.m. - 2016-01-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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